Don’t rush to put a ring on it, say the single ladies


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PETALING JAYA: Women should not rush into marriage and risk falling into unhappy relationships that may affect their life in the long-term, say their single peers.

IT team lead Jah Syazwani Jasni said women should not be rushed into marriage until they find a compatible partner.

“I think that you should not rush into marriage just because society expects that from you.

“You need to make sure that you are compatible with your partner because I believe our expectation of marriage is that it should last 'till death do us part',” said the 31-year-old.

Jah Syazwani, who lives in Kuala Lumpur, said women need to know their partner well before agreeing to a long-term commitment.

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“Some people say that men benefit more during a marriage, so it scares me a little that if I enter a marriage, I’ll be expected to be the only one to cook, clean and take care of the children, on top of having a career.

“Society does not have this expectation for men,” she noted.

Asked whether she wanted children of her own, Jah Syazwani said she was open to the option of adoption if the situation allowed it.

“For women, there is a limited time to have children but I still think that I should not have to rush into motherhood either, as it is a huge responsibility.

“Even if I have kids in the future, I do not expect them to support me when I am older, because they have their own lives. So, every month, I take 25% of my salary to save and invest for my retirement,” she added.

ALSO READ: Better preparation for old age, better well-being

A non-profit climate change professional, who only wanted to be known as Claire, said she enjoyed her own company and has friends and family who fill in the needs of companionship.

“I have been told I am picky, and I know I am – but come on, this is someone you will most likely live with for a long time; one better be picky to avoid expensive lawyer fees or therapy,” she said.

The 35-year-old, who lives in Kuala Lumpur, said she was not against marriage but was waiting for the right partner to come along.

“My parents also respect that it is better for me to be happy alone than risk being miserable with someone who is not right,” she said.

Meanwhile, 35-year-old Anya, a content specialist living in Kuala Lumpur, said marriage used to be a necessity for women for financial and economic reasons, but not anymore.

She believes marriage is not a necessity.

“I am an introvert who enjoys being alone and I am rarely bored, if ever. People say I will regret it when I am older, but I am 35 and so far, I haven’t been hit by loneliness or feel unfulfilled in any way,” she said.

On her plans, Anya said everyone should learn to invest and plan ahead, not only those who were single.

“Even if you are married and have children, there are no guarantees you will have someone to take care of you when you are old.

“Children should never be your retirement plan anyway. If I ever need care, I can go to a retirement home,” she said.

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