A mother's love knows no bounds

Siti (right) with her three children.

KOTA KINABALU: Mother's Day is special, not only for those who call themselves mothers, but also for the people who appreciate them.

A mother's love comes in different forms and not everyone is able to provide what society deems as a perfect family institution.

Single mother Siti Nurshafiqah Abdullah, 36, said she had been caring for her three children mainly on her own after separating from her husband in 2012.

"There were issues that could not be resolved and I had to move on quickly because I knew I had to be strong and present mentally and physically for my children," she said.

The supermarket cashier said whenever she feels hopeless or depressed, she thinks of her two daughters, aged 11 and 13, and son, 10, to get her mood up.

"They are my reasons to live, and to do my best in life," Siti said, adding that she was lucky to have support from her family and friends all these years.

As for her ex-husband, she said he does play a part in her children's lives as she wants them to feel that they still have a complete family despite the situation.

"He sometimes helps with their expenses, so I am thankful for that too," she added.

Siti is now active in numerous confidence boosting and self-development events, including participating in various local pageants to prove to herself and others that nothing can stop a woman from achieving her dreams.

For those who are going through a rough phase in their lives, she urged them to think positive and to put their children's welfare first at all times.

"This Mother's Day, I hope we all realise how worthy we are and how we should never let anyone tell us what we can or cannot achieve," she said.

In a different case, a mother had no choice but to give up her child to the father, as she could not be with him nor care for the child due to unavoidable circumstances and every Mother's Day is a reminder of the incident.

She had slept with her boyfriend and broke off the relationship after finding out that he was married.

"I did not want to be a home wrecker so I broke the relationship off, but a few months later, I found out that I was pregnant with his child," said the 30-year-old who only wanted to be known as Ann.

Ann said after her daughter was born, she decided to give her to the father, who was in better shape to care for a child.

"His wife has no idea the baby is his, but she loved children and promised to care for my daughter as her own," she said.

As for whether she regrets giving up her child, she said yes and no.

Yes, because Ann feels like an irresponsible person and no, because she knows that her daughter is growing up in a good family and has the love she knows she could never give.

"There have been so many instances where I wish I could turn back time and make a different decision, but then, when I see my daughter in such a loving family, I know what I did was the best for her," she added.

She said there are so many cases of baby dumping and it breaks her heart that a mother could leave her child to die, instead of finding ways to make sure that the child stays alive.

"We cannot run from mistakes but if it has happened, we should find solutions that benefit the child. There are many welfare centres, religious bodies and even baby hatches available," Ann said.

"There are many families that yearn to have a child of their own, they can give abandoned babies a second chance, do not take that away from them - for the child and for the family," she added.