WHEN Nur Adila reminds her parents to put their phones down at the dinner table, it feels less like family bonding and more like role reversal.
“Honestly, it’s like parenting children,” she says.
The 37-year-old entrepreneur noticed that her parents’ unhealthy relationship with screens began five or six years ago, when they first learned how to use the social media platform TikTok. Lately, however, it has become increasingly worse.
“The worst thing is when I see them both just scrolling when the family is around, because that’s when we’re all supposed to socialise,” she says of her parents, both in their mid-60s.
“Another challenge is that they sometimes spread fake news.”
According to Nur Adila, her parents can spend hours at a time on their phones.
“My dad even looks at his phone while driving, although he’s the one who tells us to always be careful,” she adds.
Nur Adila and her siblings regularly remind their parents about responsible phone use, but the advice rarely sticks.
“Since we all live in different states, you’d think the little time we have together would be spent connecting. Instead, it turns into nagging,” she says.
The family has since introduced a no-phones-at-dinner rule, and Nur Adila insists on her parents’ full attention while conversing.
Karthik P. finds himself in a similar situation. Although he sees his parents often, in actuality he now spends less quality time with them. The 36-year-old business development manager describes his parents as always being on the phone, watching everything from short drama clips and AI videos to browsing e-commerce apps.
“The worst part is they will call us siblings to check if we watched the videos they sent in group chats!” he says of his parents, who are also both in their mid-60s.
“How do I deal with it? I tell them to get off their phones for five minutes so we can chat, but they just roll their eyes at me. They are like teenagers,” he says.
Hooked on the screen
For 68-year-old retiree Amy Issac, screens have become a way to stay connected to the world. Like many of her friends now in their 70s, she has noticed a growing reliance on WhatsApp and Facebook for social interaction.
“After my husband passed away, things got so lonely. The person you fight with the most is no longer around,” she jokes. For company, she turns to television shows.
While she does not consider herself dependent on her smartphone, Amy admits she is now a “TV addict”, drawn to mystery series and documentaries.
“I got intoxicated by the variety of things I can watch. We have options now that we did not have before,” she says, adding that it takes effort not to overindulge.
Amy also raised concerns about the rising number of scams and amount of fake news shared by her peers. She and her friends now make a point of cutting back on screen time, organising small reunions and outings when they can. However, she notes that many seniors prefer not to spend money on socialising, as going out incurs costs at a time when retirees are saving for emergencies.
“At this age, I just want to be comfortable. I do not have much energy and my body often aches,” says the former librarian, adding that seniors who enjoy reading or writing tend to rely less on screens.
For others, however, smartphones fill the gap left by limited mobility.
“We grow attached to screens for different reasons. Many seniors who are always on their phones used to be very active. They liked gardening, travelling and going out and about. When mobility is restricted and their children are not around, the phone becomes their connection,” she says.
“Smartphones have a lot of stories behind them. In a way, they connect us to something that reminds us of our past.”
Although smartphones come with many benefits, there is a growing concern about overdependence on screens among seniors, which is increasingly being echoed worldwide. International media outlets such as The Economist, ABC7, and the Wall Street Journal have recently highlighted growing worries about screen overuse among older adults, and the physical, psychological and social consequences that can follow. Malaysia is no exception to this phenomenon.
The Internet Users Survey 2024 by the Malaysian Communi-cations and Multimedia Com-mission (MCMC) found that Inter-net users in the country who are in their 50s and 60s are displaying higher levels of digital participation, with 24.6% and 12.3% respectively spending over 13 hours online each day. This reflects growing adoption of digital tools among older adults, supported by greater access to messaging apps, e-government platforms, and streaming services.
Although there is substantial global research and clear public health guidelines on managing screen time among children and adolescents, including recommended limits and intervention strategies, there is far less evidence and little formal guidance on how to manage screen time for seniors. This means adult children caring for ageing parents have far less public health guidance or tools to manage screen use.
Nevertheless, digital use should not be seen as the problem in itself. For many older adults, smartphones are empowering tools that help them stay connected, mentally engaged and independent as their worlds become smaller. The challenge lies in ensuring that screens enhance, rather than replace, real-world connection.
