Artificial intelligence (AI) can now draft a love letter, an apology, a birthday wish or a message of comfort in seconds.
For many, that is really helpful, especially when they struggle with language or feel unsure how to express themselves. But when we let AI speak for us in our most personal conversations, an important question arises: are these still our own words and do we truly mean them?
The concern goes beyond whether a message sounds genuine. Human communication is not simply about putting words together; it also involves reflecting on our feelings, understanding another person’s perspective and taking responsibility for what we say.
This matters in Malaysia, where so much of our closeness is expressed through messages: family WhatsApp groups, greetings during Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali and Christmas, and words of comfort when someone is ill or grieving.
From a psychological perspective, finding the words to express our feelings is part of learning to understand them. When we struggle to apologise, comfort someone or talk through a disagreement, we have to reflect on our emotions and consider how our words might affect another person. These moments may be uncomfortable, but they also give us opportunities to develop empathy and interpersonal skills.
As a lecturer, I have seen this myself. A student who missed class once sent me an explanation in flawless, formal English, though I knew the student struggled with the language. The message was perfect, but it did not sound like the student, and I realised I would have preferred a few honest, imperfect lines in their own words.
When a message appears caring but does not reflect the sender’s usual way of communicating, the recipient may begin to question its sincerity. Over time, this uncertainty could contribute to emotional distance, particularly if meaningful conversations are replaced by carefully generated responses.
The same issue arises in dating. For those who are shy or anxious about starting a conversation, a little help may be harmless. But a relationship begins with two people getting to know each other. If the charming, witty and caring words come from AI, the other person is getting to know a performance rather than the real person. Trust, which is the basis of any lasting relationship, is hard to build on words that were never ours.
Using AI is not dishonest in itself. The problem arises when we depend on it so heavily that we no longer make the effort to formulate our own thoughts.
More research, particularly among younger people and within the Malaysian context, would help clarify how AI-assisted communication affects trust, emotional expression and relationship quality.
Parents and teachers, too, have a role to play. They must talk with young people about when AI is a useful helper and when it takes away something they need to practise.
Communicating effectively is not simply about finding the right words, but about understanding what those words mean and taking responsibility for them. In a world where AI can help us express almost anything, preserving our own voice, thoughts and feelings is essential to maintaining genuine human connection.
ASSISTANT PROF DR ZHOORIYATI SEHU MOHAMAD
Director
Wellbeing Research Centre
UCSI University Kuala Lumpur
How to use AI without losing your voice:
> Put down your own thoughts, however rough, before asking AI to improve the language. The message then starts with you.
> If it doesn’t sound like something you would say, change it until it does.
> A shared memory, a nickname or a familiar phrase tells the reader the message is truly yours.
> For apologies, condolences or difficult conversations, consider calling or speaking in person instead of sending a polished message.
> AI-generated explanations and advice can sound convincing, so make sure you understand them and agree with them before passing them on.
