HAVE you ever felt like a background character in someone else’s story, just trying to keep up so you wouldn’t feel left out?
Being around people who constantly centred themselves – or had main character syndrome (MCS) – while I silently dealt with the fear of missing out (FOMO) made me question my place and even how I saw myself.
As an introvert, I never really knew how to put myself out there comfortably. When I started lower secondary, making friends didn’t happen instantly, but I eventually became part of one or two friend groups.
Soon, however, I noticed a pattern: the conversations always circled back to them. No matter what topic I brought to the table, I felt unheard.
Due to personal boundaries and limited chances to go out, I often declined hangouts. When their memories were later shared, I couldn’t help feeling excluded.
Eventually, I hit burnout – not just from keeping up, but also from trying to belong somewhere that no longer felt right.
That’s when I took a step back. Seeing the bigger picture changed how I perceived things.
I realised it wasn’t as big of a deal as I had made it out to be. I didn’t need to be in their spotlight to matter, nor live up to everyone’s expectations to feel valued.
What I truly needed was to find peace with myself and be grateful for what I already had – instead of chasing validation.
Fast forward to today, I have found amazing friends who bring support, warmth and laughter into my life.
By stepping back, I learnt to reflect on what I wanted in a friendship, not just what I could give.
It’s important to be mindful of the people we surround ourselves with – especially in today’s social media-driven world.
MCS and FOMO are real, and they reveal a hidden truth: many of us are seeking validation in the wrong places.
Social media only amplifies these feelings, making us feel left behind just because we’re not seen.
The impact of MCS and FOMO can only hold us back for so long. It’s up to us to break free from those expectations and embrace who we really are.
Take a step back – not to give up but to move forward more mindfully. Reflect on your life, and remember: you don’t need to “fit in” or be in the spotlight to truly matter.
Evangelene, 17, a student in Selangor, is a participant of the BRATs Young Journalist Programme run by The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) team. For updates on the BRATs programme, go to facebook.com/niebrats.
