After working in science for a decade, I made the spontaneous decision to return to academia to pursue a master’s degree.
It all started on a warm afternoon while I was grading environmental toxicology assignments at the office when I began to question my life’s purpose. Was I doing enough? Had I achieved what I set out to do?
I had an insatiable desire to get to the bottom of these questions. After spending a considerable amount of time contemplating my future, I decided to expand my expertise by pursuing a postgraduate degree in science communication abroad.
Having lived in Kuala Lumpur for almost 40 years and never studied abroad, I felt exhilarated by the prospect of moving to the western world to expand my horizons.
Now, you might think that my transition from teacher to student was seamless. However, it was far from smooth. The change from a position of authority as a head of school to being a student was humbling, to say the least.
It was daunting to suddenly find myself no longer imparting knowledge, setting deadlines for assignments and grading exams. Instead, I was scrambling to take notes and keep up with assignment deadlines.
Navigating student life
I said goodbye to my cosy flat in Malaysia and hello to a shared communal area with other international students. Living in those dormitories taught me more about cross-cultural communication than any lecture hall.
I quickly discovered that dorm life came with its quirks. Every day was an adventure, from fire drills to disappeared food.
Attending the first day of class was like stepping into a time machine. After a quick search on “What do Brit teenagers wear to class?” on the web, I assembled an outfit of sweatpants and a hoodie, got my rucksack packed with snacks and books, and hurried along the bustling hallways to get to class.
As the day progressed, I found myself grappling with a cyclone of emotions. From a nagging impostor syndrome to a sheer excitement of being back at school, a flurry of emotions consumed me.
I started to get anxious about what my classmates would think of me – a middle-aged woman trying to rekindle her youth. I began to feel self-conscious, with a little envy of the youthful exuberance surrounding me.
Then came the most terrifying bit of every student’s life: exams. While I handled the pressures of exams well, I did not handle receiving the marks very well.
While I was certain I aced the exams, the mediocre marks said otherwise. For years, I was the one grading students but when I was graded, I felt a proverbial dagger to my ego.
But instead of feeling sorry for myself or reacting aggressively, I decided to view feedback and marks as an opportunity to improve.
Lessons learnt
Throughout my academic journey, I learnt valuable lessons in time management and perseverance. I had to balance lectures, assignments and my mental health, which taught me to prioritise self-care and regular exercise for a more balanced academic life.
I recognised that pursuing a postgraduate degree is not about accumulating high marks, but rather the cultivation of a mindset to embrace continuous learning. Setbacks and challenges are inevitable, but how one responds shapes the outcome.
Amid the occasional chaos and confusion, there were moments of clarity and growth. I developed a newfound resilience, and came to appreciate the importance of lifelong learning and the value of stepping outside of my comfort zone.
Stepping back into the role of a student reminded me of the importance of humility and curiosity in lifelong learning.
Despite being older than my classmates, I realised that age is just a number and that I should not limit my ability to learn and grow. I learnt to use my maturity as an asset, to contribute unique insights and to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.
The significance of lifelong learning and adaptability cannot be overstated, especially for scientists at any stage of their careers.
Although returning to academia can be challenging, the potential for professional and personal growth is substantial for those who seek to deepen their expertise or explore new opportunities.
MAGARET SIVAPRAGASAM, PhD
Postgraduate student of science communication UWE Bristol, United Kingdom
