Single mothers share tips on how they travel with their kids. — Unsplash
Whenever you see a family travelling, you will most likely see this familiar scene: One parent takes care of the luggage, the other takes care of the child or children.
When single mothers travel alone with their kids, however, things look fairly different. The mother needs to handle everything, from navigating airport security to making sure all the documents are on hand, to asking if anyone needs to use the toilet before boarding a flight.
Travelling alone with kids may be challenging for some people, but it is far from impossible, and these mothers show how to make it work.
Meet the mums
Alex Kuan, 57, has turned family travel into an enriching tradition. She has been going on holidays with her three children for the past 15 years and says that their adventures have been nothing short of rewarding.
Kuan, who works at a bank, adds that travelling with her kids has been a great bonding experience, one which has shaped their relationship in ways she never expected.
Kuan (second from right) and her children have visited various tourist hotspots, like Halong Bay in Vietnam. — ALEX KUAN
She remembers their first trip vividly. Her children were just 10, eight, and six back then, and they took a trip to Cameron Highlands in Pahang. For her, it wasn’t just a vacation, it was a way to heal after the devastating loss of her husband, her children’s father.
“We just needed to get away from the house,” she recalls. “A night in a cosy chalet in the serene hills of Cameron Highlands was the perfect escape – we found comfort in each other’s company.”
Little did Kuan know that what began as a short break from reality would later blossom into something even more meaningful.
“Since that first holiday, we have made it a point to go on more trips together,” she says.
Norlizawati Ismail, 40, a chief clerk in the Royal Malaysian Air Force, went on numerous holidays with her daughter when she was still a single mother. She says that the experience gave her the freedom to make decisions more quickly and adjust plans without needing to discuss with another adult.
However, she notes that there can be limitations when it comes to accommodation and activity choices, due to the tighter budget a single parent would have to work with. “With two parents, there is more financial flexibility,” she says.
Gomez said booking red-eye flights are great, especially for longer journeys. — ABIGAIL GOMEZ
Meanwhile, Abigail Gomez, 34, who hails from Singapore, has been exploring the world with her 12-year-old son, Rafael Gomez, since 2019.
“I want to share my love of exploration with him. Besides Bali in Indonesia, we have visited Kuala Lumpur, a couple of times, too.”
Unlike travelling with another adult, where responsibilities and expenses can be shared, Gomez, who also works in a bank, manages every aspect of the journey herself, including unexpected hiccups.
One such incident happened during their first flight together. Rafael began feeling unwell towards the end of the journey and Gomez did not have the right medication on hand. They rushed to the nearest pharmacy upon landing.
“I always make sure I carry certain medications with me ever since that day. It is better to be prepared for the unexpected than to be caught off guard,” she says.
Preparation has become second nature to Gomez. “I always make a checklist of all the things we need to do and pack before the trip,” she adds.
From travel documents to accommodation bookings, having everything in place helps minimise “surprises”. “This helps us stay organised with fewer last-minute stresses,” Gomez says.
The mother-and-daughter duo has also visited the beautiful Kulen Mountain in Cambodia. — EVIE FARRELL
A great way to stay organised while on the go, according to Australian mother Evie Farrell, 47, is to pack smart. “When it’s just the two of you, there is no one else to help carry the load, so packing mindfully is key,” she says. Farrell owns a tour company that specialises in organising women-only trips.
Farrell and her daughter, Emily, have travelled to various parts of Asia, including China, Cambodia, and Malaysia, multiple times. No matter where they are headed, she packs according to the local weather, and always keeps things light.
Over the years, Farrell has learned how to maximise luggage space without overstuffing. “I roll our clothes to save space and use packing cubes,” she shares.
The cubes help her group and separate everything neatly – imagine having to dig through a messy suitcase just to find a pair of socks!
Planning together
Children, especially younger ones, may not adapt easily to changes, leading to resistance or frustration when things don’t go their way. These moments can create added challenges when you’re on holiday, throwing a wrench into plans.
Both Gomez and Norlizawati say that tuning in to your children’s needs and involving them in the planning can make a huge difference.
By engaging your children in the planning of your itinerary, you ensure the activities are the ones they truly enjoy or at the very least, things they would like to try.
“I show Rafael where we are going, and he picks the activities or places he would like to explore,” says Gomez, adding that giving kids a say in the decision making also gives them a sense of ownership.
Norlizawati says that when children feel included in the planning, they are more likely to cooperate and adapt.
Additionally, she says it can help build anticipation and excitement.
“My daughter, Nur Adriana, feels more enthusiastic about the trip because she knows what to expect,” she shares.
For her, nothing beats the joy of seeing her daughter’s face light up with wonder while exploring new places. “She is very curious, it is like watching the world unfold through her eyes,” says Norlizawati, who has remarried. She and her daughter started travelling together when Nur Adriana was just two years old; she is now 12.
Norlizawati said one of the most memorable experiences for her was travelling solo with her two-year-old daughter. — NORLIZAWATI ISMAIL
One of the most unforgettable moments for Norlizawati was telling her daughter that Mount Kinabalu is the tallest mountain in Malaysia while they were in Sabah. “Her excitement was contagious!” she says.
Kuan, meanwhile, is a firm believer in raising independent kids, and that everyone needs to have responsibilities. Teaching responsibility isn’t just about chores, it is about trust and giving kids the tools to handle themselves.
“From the start, they have always packed their own bags. My only job is to double check and bring medication, as well as a basic first-aid kit.
“When you start guiding them early, they catch on fast. Before you know it, they are taking care of their own needs and that makes travel a lot smoother for everyone,” says Kuan.
“Plus, they pick up practical skills along the way, like doing research for the trip and planning itineraries.”
Beating boredom
Long journeys can test a child’s – and a parent’s – patience, especially if they are buckled in with “nothing” to do and nowhere to go. That’s why Kuan never travels without a plan. Boredom is bound to strike, but she is always prepared for it.
When her children were younger, books were her secret weapon. “They didn’t get devices until they were 15, so we relied on books and games like Monopoly card decks to pass the time.”
Reading actually became a shared form of entertainment for the family – it made the hours fly by during car rides and flights.
Regardless of the destination, Farrell always makes sure they pack light. — EVIE FARRELL
While she gets the appeal of devices and how useful they are in some situations, Kuan prefers to nurture her children’s love of reading. She feels this is far more meaningful and useful for them in the long run.
“It can help spark imagination and improve self- expression, which is good to help kids think in new ways, and grow their confidence,” she explains.
Another golden rule for her is to never underestimate the power of snacking. “I travel light, but I always have snacks and water ready. Kids go wild for them and it keeps them busy, so why not? And you can always stock up more along the way,” says Kuan.
For Farrell, doing this one simple thing when her daughter was younger has made a huge difference in their travel experience. When Emily, who is now 15, was much younger, Farrell got her a backpack to carry on her own.
“It gave her a sense of control while we were flying. She can pull out her colouring book or start doodling whenever she wanted. It kept her occupied,” Farrell says.
She adds that while travelling somewhere new may be exciting and fun, it is important to be prepared for all kinds of reactions from children. “Kids can get overstimulated by the new sights, sounds and smells, so having familiar items and regular activities helps.”
Gomez and her son Rafael have been travelling together since 2019. She says that booking red-eye flights are great for longer journeys. — Photos: ABIGAIL GOMEZ
Gomez, meanwhile, has her own “travel toolkit” for her trips with Rafael – children’s movies. “Put one on, and Rafael will be completely tuned into it until the end of the trip.”
She also prefers to take red-eye flights. “They take off late and land early, and Rafael usually sleeps through most of it. And if he doesn’t, there is a library of cartoons waiting for him on the in-flight entertainment.”
Staying vigilant
Safety is one of the biggest concerns for solo parents on the move. Juggling luggage and navigating crowded transit hubs, all while supervising a child, can be overwhelming.
Gomez uses practical tactics to keep safe. “When I use a public toilet, I will have Rafael stand outside the stall with his feet visible under the door. That way, I know exactly where he is,” she said.
She also takes time to mentally prepare her son for emergency situations, be it a fire, natural disaster or even in the event of hearing a loud sound. “It might seem extreme to some, but these conversations could save his life.”
When she was still a single mother, Norlizawati travelled with her daughter Nur Adriana to many places, making wonderful memories together. — Photos: NORLIZAWATI ISMAIL
Norlizawati says that people often view single mothers travelling alone with their children as vulnerable and exposed in a foreign environment, but she wants to challenge that perception.
For one thing, she is always alert. “I never let my daughter out of my sight, and she is always within arm’s reach no matter where we are,” she says.
Before embarking on any trip, Norlizawati reads up on local safety guidelines. Doing so gives her a clearer picture of the environment and helps her plan accordingly.
As for Kuan, safety is now an instinctive part of life for her independent kids.
“We love the outdoors – hiking, exploring – but we stay aware and take smart steps to avoid unnecessary risks,” she shares. “Looking after each other just comes naturally now.”
Farrell will never forget the moment she and Emily were robbed during a trip to Spain.
“We got back to the car and everything was gone – our luggage, my electronics, all of it,” she recalls. Instead of panicking, Farrell kept her composure.
Kuan’s family enjoys going on diving trips and Sabah’s Semporna remains one of their favourite spots. — ALEX KUAN
“The most important thing in that moment was staying calm so I could show Emily how to respond, not react.
“I wanted her to understand that panicking doesn’t help the situation. Focus on what you can or need to do next,” Farrell notes.
Together, they talked through the situation, reported the incident, and made a plan. “She actually came out of it feeling empowered. We treated it as a problem to solve, and that made all the difference,” says Farrell.
