Sunny Side Up: Rest is what fuels the rest of our lives

When we have the time to slow down, switch off, and engage in life for its own sake, we become energised enough to deal with work commitments and duties. — 123rf

I once interviewed a CEO of a local authority for an article and I was curious to know how she managed such a demanding job. I asked her if she had any advice, and was expecting a corporate response. Instead, she said, “Always use up all your annual leave, and make sure you take time to rest when you need it.”

I remember pressing her on that point, wanting to know how someone with her schedule and a busy family life manages to make space for rest. It turned out that this CEO practised what she preached, and encouraged her staff to do the same. 

“If I’m running on low, I’m not going to be much use to anyone; and if the people around me are stressed or burnt out, then I’m not doing my job ensuring they have what they need to do theirs.”

What a great answer. We don’t need more motivation, we need permission to stop treating rest as “time off from life” and start seeing it as part of life.

Last week, I was happy to join Prof Eugene Tee as we launched our new book, The Tyranny Of Speed, at Sunway University. The audience asked insightful questions on how to slow down busy lives, or connect with friends who don’t have much time. I realised how difficult it can be to even wrap our heads around the idea of slowing down, doing things we enjoy, and spending time with loved ones. Presence requires space, and space is what modern life squeezes out.

We often treat rest as a luxury instead of a necessity. On top of that, phrases such as “we all have the same 24 hours” get thrown around as if time is evenly distributed. It ignores childcare, health, income needs, commute time, shift work, and other structural realities.

Whenever I speak with clients about rest, many say they “don’t have time”. But often it’s less about hours and more about what rest represents. We have absorbed the idea that rest must be earned, and only after everything else is done. The trouble is, everything else is never done.

In the book, we talk about a famous essay by economist John Maynard Keynes. Writing in 1930, he predicted that by the early 21st century, we’d all be working 15-hour weeks and wondering what to do with all our free time. Of course, Keynes’ prediction turned out to be false.

Not even the Covid-19 pandemic could shake the stubborn belief that productivity demands even more productivity. I’d be curious to know if anyone has attended a year-end department meeting where the main manager has said, “Great work this year, team – thank you for your efforts. Next year, there’s no need to push beyond what we’ve been doing.”

Wellbeing might start with the individual, but it’s also shaped by systems and expectations. We need environments that encourage rest rather than treating it as something to feel guilty about.

Rest is what fuels the rest – when we have the time to slow down, switch off, and engage in life for its own sake, we become energised enough to deal with our work commitments and duties.

Relationships are one of the most important areas where time and presence matter. The Harvard Study of Adult Development found that close relationships are the strongest predictors of health and happiness. People with strong social connections live longer, handle stress better, recover faster from illness, and report greater life satisfaction. But we need the time and energy to enjoy those connections.

Meaningful activity is another important piece of the puzzle. When we make room for hobbies, creativity, volunteering, or anything that gives us purpose, our mental health improves. Psychologists often talk about “flow” – that feeling we get when we are absorbed in something challenging yet enjoyable. Flow states are linked to lower anxiety, greater fulfilment, and even reduced risk of disease.

Sadly, these kinds of activities are often seen as optional extras rather than essential parts of a healthy life. Everything becomes a transaction: “If I get this done, then I can relax.” There’s always something else to do, and so rest and leisure are pushed to the fringes of the day, and life begins to feel like a series of tasks to get done rather than an experience to be lived.

After the book launch, it dawned on me that we live a strange paradox. We keep telling ourselves that we’ll live our lives after we’ve cleared our to-do lists, as though real living begins once everything else is done. But as the Franciscan friar Richard Rohr points out: This is it. Life doesn’t begin when the tasks are finished – we need room for it in the middle of everything. Otherwise, life passes us by while we’re busy chasing after it.

Sunny Side Up columnist Sandy Clarke has long held an interest in emotions, mental health, mindfulness and meditation. He believes the more we understand ourselves and each other, the better societies we can create. If you have any questions or comments, e-mail [e-mail]. The views expressed here are entirely the writer's own.