Time spent together is the best present you can give someone, rather than investing in expensive objects, say researchers.
Those of us giving gifts often overestimate the connection between the price of a gift and the recipient's appreciation of it, says a classic US study called "Money Can't Buy Love."
Sadly, no matter what they cost, some gifts just sit around gathering dust, are given away, or even sold.
Instead, consider why you give a gift. We give gifts to establish, maintain and deepen our relationships, says business psychologist Britta Krahn of Bonn-Rhein-Sieg University of Applied Sciences in Germany.
But it also matters whether and how you take individual interests and wishes of the recipient into account, meaning how much thought went into choosing the gift.
Lastly, we also consider the feelings a gift triggers, less at the moment you receive it, but more when you use it later on down the line.
Numerous studies, including by US behavioural researchers Cindy Chan and Cassie Mogilner, find gifts that involve experiences strengthen our connections more than material gifts.
However, that does not mean that experiential gifts such as football tickets or cooking courses are inherently more valuable.
The scientists found even a coffee cup can be a gift that brings people together if the giver explicitly mentions the experience associated with the object.
You might say, "We always drink coffee together" or "I thought about how much you enjoy drinking your coffee in peace in the morning, using this cup." That transforms an object into an experience and gives an item shared meaning.
Pitfalls to avoid when giving gifts
To ensure gifts bring joy, Krahn lists a few pitfalls that we as gift-givers can try to avoid:
General items: Try to avoid making broad assumptions about the person and say picking up chocolates for grandma, flowers for a woman or a cuddly toy for a kid.
"Unless the person in question expresses a specific wish, then it is advisable to fulfil this wish and not choose something else according to your own taste," she says.
Your own interests, goals, values and norms: "Try not to project these onto the other person, as this suggests, 'You must like what I like' or 'I know what's good for you',” Krahn says.
Time pressure: Shopping under pressure raises the risk of choosing the wrong gift as impulse buys rarely express individual appreciation and empathy in the same way that a carefully chosen gift can, regardless of its material value.
Gift-giving works best when the present suits the recipient and also says something about the giver.
Remember, it is not about the objective value of the gift as much as whether the recipient feels genuinely happy with it. – dpa
