Heart and Soul: From being ma to grandma

Illustration: 123rf.com

We grandparents step onto a peculiar path of joy and charm in the early years of our grandchildren’s growth ... and then the kids outgrow their games and outings with us ... and off they go! While on that eventful interlude with them, we reap some special memories that never fade no matter how much the kids may change through the years.

On a rainy afternoon, all cool and quiet around me, I was thinking of Mother’s Day, when some mothers and grandmothers may be given a treat in some form. And I think of how quickly the years have shot by, from being a mother to a grandmother, and now with one of my grandchildren already holding a job immediately after her graduation.

I think of how as a mother I was brought to my knees clowning and laughing with my own toddlers, and how I was brought to high heaven with their smiles and hugs. When suddenly upgraded to the status of grandma, it was almost like a "wondrous" achievement, a long-awaited gift ... OK, just call it a blessing, to experience all those feelings again, but on a "grand" scale’! (Is this how the word "grandparents" came to be?)

One day long ago, holding my kindy-age grandson’s hand in a shopping mall, I told him he would have to slow down a bit for his old grandma. He promptly said, “You are not old, grandma.” That made my day! When my eldest son, his father, was that age and I was taking my driving lessons, he had said, “One day, I will drive you around.” He has kept that promise. Last month my grandson passed his driving test ... He is busy with his pre-university course now but, ah, he may soon be driving me around too!

I have exchanged some amusing grandmother tales with other grandmothers and I still smile at recalling some of theirs right now. A friend playing Transformers with her grandson was feeling a bit lost when she said to him, “I wish I had become a grandma when I was much younger, then I would be better at this with you.” She was astounded when he replied, “It’s OK, grandma, we can’t have everything.”

Another one was elated when she finally got her daughter’s family to move to a house just a few doors away from her own. Then to her chagrin, her little grandchildren would sometimes suddenly turn up at her door and say, “Grandma, we want to have breakfast with you!” She lost some beauty sleep then, as one who used to wake up late and have leisurely mornings!

With that story in mind, when my grandchildren, then in primary school, asked why my husband and I did not try to get a house that was for sale nearer to them (we were targeting a condo), I retorted, “Because you might climb over our gate every now and then when you want extra food or something else!” – and they burst into laughter (almost "guiltily", I think).

I enjoyed reading about a woman who, on visiting her daughter and two grandchildren for the first time, brought water pistols for the kids. She smiled broadly as she watched them having a great time creating a very wet environment. Her daughter, exasperated, asked, “What made you bring them those things? I will have lots of wiping up to do after this!” She grinned as she replied, “Don’t you remember how you loved it, too?”

After all is said and done, I think we love our grandkids twice as much we love our own children, and forgive their "naughtiness" twice as fast too! We are more patient with them, have more time for fun activities, and are more prepared to handle the chaotic situations than when we were bringing up their parents. I suppose that could be the unseen gift from feeling "grand" as grandparents! And may we all grandmothers enjoy a meaningful Mother’s Day too!