How parents can deal with teenage angst


Friendships and romantic relationships tend to take centrestage during adolescence, requiring parents to accept their child's need for more privacy and less family time. — 123rf

Adolescence is a transitional phase between childhood and adulthood.

Many parents dread this period, as it is when their once cheerful and energetic child may turn into a moody and unpredictable teenager.

Hence, understanding how their social and emotional development progresses at this stage will make parents able to relate to their adolescent’s struggles and give valuable insights.

Adolescents undergo rapid psychosocial development, which affects the way they think and make decisions.

This is driven by the surge of sex hormones at the time of puberty.

The fluctuation of oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone is responsible for regulating their moods, besides bringing about physical changes and secondary sexual characteristics.

These transformations, coupled with peer and societal pressures, influence their body image and self-esteem.

Every adolescent is unique and has different ways of adapting to their new body and environment.

Some familiar social and emotional changes they showcase may include:

  • Developing a new taste for fashion, personal appearance, music and other subcultures.

     

    A few will turn to celebrities as their role models and imitate their styles.

  • Forming stronger friendships with their peers and getting involved in romantic relationships.

     

    These may cause them to spend less time with their family and become more private with their personal lives.

  • Having intense and unpredictable moods that make them easily irritable, sad and frustrated.

     

    Extreme mood swings, however, can point to mood disorders, which are quite common among adolescents.

  • Seeking autonomy and responsibility as part of their search for identity.

     

    They have a strong need to make their own choices, but without supervision, this can lead to some risk-taking behaviours.

It is not easy for parents to get accustomed to these changes.

Even so, they cannot afford to let their adolescent go astray without proper guidance; therefore, these few approaches should be put into use:

> Be a role model

Adolescents observe the way their parents interact and solve conflicts.

If you want your teenager to behave in a way that reflects positive values, like being kind and responsible, you should model these values in yourself.

> Communicate effectively

Encourage your adolescent to open up about the challenges they face by providing a safe space.

Avoid being judgmental about their personal choices and show interest in what and who they spend their time with.

> Educate

Adolescents are often embarrassed to ask their parents certain questions.

This way, they might look for answers from unreliable sources, so always take the initiative to discuss their studies, hobbies, relationships and troubles in life, and share your thoughts whenever possible.

> Stay vigilant

Their quest for autonomy might lead them to make poor choices and practise high-risk behaviours like cigarette smoking or vaping, substance use, playing truant and being aggressive.

Always keep an eye on their behaviours, and also ask for feedback from their teachers and peers.

> Interfere when needed

If you sense something is wrong with the way your adolescent is behaving, step in calmly.

Try to work out the problems and solutions by communicating with them in a respectful way, and seek professional help if the problems are beyond your capabilities.

As parents, watching your child mature into an adolescent is definitely a sombre experience.

Nevertheless, this is the perfect time to lay the foundation for a healthy and meaningful adult life by making impactful changes in your teenager’s social and emotional development.

So, parents should always do their best to guide their adolescent during this period.

Dr Thiyagar Nadarajaw is a consultant paediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist. This article is courtesy of the Malaysian Paediatric Association’s Positive Parenting programme in collaboration with expert partners. For further information, please email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.

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Teenagers , parenting , child health

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