Parents, watch your tone when you scold your child

Even if you don’t spank your children, scolding them harshly might have psychological effects on them. — AFP

Has your child behaved inappropriately with others?

If so, it’s important to try to explain the situation to them calmly.

Because while positive discipline begins with dialogue, the tone and language used are also important, according to a new global study.

It’s not always easy to stay calm with one’s children when you’re a parent.

If your child stole his classmate’s marbles or got into a fight with her little brother, you’re probably thinking, “don’t let this pass by”.

In such cases, disciplinary approaches vary from parent to parent.

This is precisely what American researchers from the University of Michigan set out to investigate with a recent study.

They analysed data from several surveys in the United Nations Children’s Fund (Unicef) database to assess the impact of different forms of reprimands associated with children’s behaviour.

Regarding spanking and other forms of physical punishment (now banned in many countries), the results of the study are unequivocal: they lead to increased aggressiveness and difficulties in concentration for children in all countries.

Researchers also noted that children who are accustomed to verbal reasoning from their parents tend to be more sociable with their peers.

However, some do not get along with others and show higher levels of aggression, even in the absence of physical punishment.

This is “likely in cases when the parents used harsh tones and language,” theorised the researchers.

Simply having a dialogue with one’s child is therefore not enough: the tone must follow the rhythm, taking care not to fall into psychological violence.

In other words, address your child in the most benevolent way possible, even when it is a question of reprimanding them.

In reality, however, this is an ideal that can seem difficult to achieve, especially when your offspring is pushing all your buttons.

Don’t worry: raising your voice from time to time doesn’t make you a bad parent.

The most important thing, according to the authors of the study, is to focus on “long-term investments” as parents with your children, “such as spending time with them, letting them know they are loved and listening to them”. – AFP Relaxnews