Parents must be more involved with their children in navigating the digital world. Photo: Pexels
In a world where the glow of a screen remains a constant backdrop to daily life, parents today face a unique challenge in raising their children: staying connected to them in the age of smartphones and social media.
Adolescence, the hit Netflix miniseries, offers an eye-opening glimpse into this struggle. The show follows a 13-year-old teenage boy who is suspected of murdering his girl classmate.
As the story unfolds, investigations into the boy’s past reveal troubling influences from the ‘manosphere’ – online spaces dedicated to promoting misogynistic views.
Through psychological assessments and interviews, the series paints a disturbing portrait of how toxic digital communities and unsupervised screen exposure can shape a child’s worldview and subsequently, their behaviours.
In Malaysia, the concerns are just as real. For clinical psychologist and Taylor’s University senior lecturer in the Master of Clinical Psychology programme Faeza Hasnan, the integration of digital devices into every aspect of a teenager’s life remains one of parents’ biggest challenges.
“Unlike in the past, most teens now own a smartphone, which is no longer just a luxury but a necessity,” she says.
Digital devices, she explains, are central to how teens communicate – not just with their peers, but also with teachers, school and family members.
For parents, this makes it harder to keep track of their children’s device usage, especially when they use it for legitimate needs like schoolwork.
“The boundaries between education, entertainment and leisure have become increasingly blurred,” Faeza notes. “As a result, it can be difficult for parents to distinguish between productive and non-productive screen time.”
Faeza says it is a challenge for parents to monitor their teen's digital exposure because digital devices are central to teens' communication. Photo: FAEZA HASNAN
Screen time takes a toll
Much like the teen in Adolescence, who turn to social media for a sense of belonging, Malaysian teens are also deeply immersed in the digital world – often without their parents realising the emotional and physical impacts that come with this immersion.
Faeza highlights the red flags parents should look out for in their children when it comes to digital usage.
Key warning signs, she says, include behavioural changes, emotional dysregulation, social withdrawal, declining academic performance and physical symptoms such as headaches and fatigue from sleep deprivation and screen overuse.
“They may become easily irritated, restless and experience difficulty in concentrating on tasks like schoolwork or chores,” she explains. “They may avoid face-to-face interactions, lose interest in hobbies or even lie about their screen usage.”
So what can parents do to tackle this problem in a way that’s not punishing and overly-restrictive for their teens?
Faeza recommends a partnership approach instead of a policing one. “Parents and children should collaboratively discuss their needs and concerns to reach a mutual agreement on screen time rules.”
“This helps both sides understand each other and jointly establish boundaries, such as acceptable duration, no-screen zones and time (such as during meals and before bedtime) and appropriate types of content or apps.”
Creating an environment of trust is crucial, too. “It is also important to respect their privacy while staying involved. Intrusive monitoring may break trust. Hence, encourage children to share voluntarily.”
To foster this openness with their children, Faeza suggests parents spend quality time together, including in digital spaces.
“This could include playing games together, watching movies, exploring cafes or cooking new recipes. Quality time strengthens bonds and helps children feel more comfortable opening up about their digital experiences.”
Netflix’s ‘Adolescence’ reveals the dark side of unsupervised screen time by teens. Photo: Handout
Leading by example
Something that is equally important and may not be what most parents think of, is parental self-awareness.
Faeza refers to the Social Learning Theory by psychologist Albert Bandura, which explains how children learn by mimicking behaviours observed through those they identify as role models. In this case, the role models would be the parents.
“Parents who prioritise face-to-face interactions during meals or allocate device-free time convey the importance of balance,” she says as an example. “In contrast, parents who constantly check their phones during conversations or spend long periods on screens may normalise those behaviours for children.”
If parents want their children to develop healthy screen habits, they need to provide a good model for them in the first place.
It’s very easy for parents to feel out of touch with the rapid change in the digital landscape, from new trends and apps popping up overnight, to elusive online slangs adopted by their teens.
Faeza’s advice for parents who feel overwhelmed is simple: be present, not perfect.
“While it is understandable to feel this way, your active participation and concern remain crucial to help them navigate the digital era safely.”
At its core, both Adolescence and Faeza’s insights reveal the same truth – teens aren’t trying to shut parents out from their digital activities, they’re just navigating a complicated world on their own.
But with trust, openness and continuous communication, parents can rebuild and retain the connection – even across the digital divide.
