THE POLITICALLY INCORRECT PARENTING BOOK
10 No-Nonsense Rules To Stay Sane And Raise Happy Kids
By Nigel Latta
Publisher: Vermillion

The title states plainly that this book is politically incorrect so expect just that. If you are ready to accept that you will find a serving of brutal honesty and light swearing within the pages of this parenting book, then give it a go.

You can tell from the way this book was written (with great humour, at times bordering on the absurd) that the writer has really enjoyed sharing his invaluable parenting know-how and experiences.

The author, Nigel Latta, is a clinical psychologist with nearly 20 years of experience, some of which he spent working with “hopeless cases” or young people with extremely disturbed behaviour. He claims that he is able to tackle these cases by “maintaining optimism in the face of certain defeat.”

I believe him. This is quite apparent from the positivity that permeates the book.

I appreciate the fact that he doesn’t underplay the difficulties that parents face, describing children with a slew of colourful words like “naughty piranhas”, “fascist dictators” and “baby hippos”. Yet, I assure you he somehow manages to remain upbeat and instils confidence in the reader that the sleep, feeding or behavioural problems that they face with their children (assuming that only parents would read a book like this) can be easily overcome with faith and perseverance.

The author clearly does not agree with many aspects of the current philosophy on parenting. He says parenting today has been made out to sound so complicated. Children are treated like delicate creatures and parents end up being overly-anxious about making their children “emotional cripples for life”. So, he has written this parenting book to say exactly what he wants to say (calling a spade a spade if he wants to), hence the political incorrectness of it all.

This book was written with a particular group of the parenting community in mind. To be specific, parents of toddlers to tweens who are tottering on the brink of insanity; parents who have suffered too many sleepless nights; parents who are sick of racking their brains in an attempt to hoodwink their fussy eaters into swallowing just a single mouthful; and parents who have entertained thoughts of getting on a jet plane just to escape their foul-mouthed tweens.

You get my drift. If your child is a compliant cherub who stops you in your tracks only to smother you with kisses and hugs, then this book is not for you … not yet, anyway.

In this book, Latta states that 10 rules underlie his parenting strategies. These rules are hardly groundbreaking but when you are a parent wading through the quagmire known as parenthood, you sometimes forget.

There is one rule that stood out for me about the importance of liking your children and incorporating playfulness in your daily interactions with them as much as possible. This, he says, is entirely different from merely loving them out of a sense of duty. Yet, he has another rule in which he asserts that you have to stand your ground as the adult in charge, not taking any crap or accepting disrespectful behaviour from your child.

The most important chapter in his book, according to Latta, is the one where he shares the real “Golden Rule” of sanity-saving parenting, which is don’t make their problem your problem. Here, he discusses what he calls the naughty economy - what is the cost to your child when he behaves badly? What are the consequences for the child himself when he keeps soiling his pants when he is already ready for potty training and you have taught him how to use a toilet many times?

Basically, Latta believes that when children behave well they should get positive attention and rewards but when they do not, they should be punished. It is worth getting this book just to understand his explanations of the mechanics of this rule and its application.

What makes this book particularly interesting are the chapters describing real cases (with names and personal details changed, of course) that he encountered in his years as a psychologist. He has selected cases in the areas of sleep, eating, potty training and discipline problems. He discusses in great detail how he dealt with those cases using his no-nonsense rules and some parenting tools such as directed attention, praises, sticker charts, time-out, using the microwave (surely, you are very curious to know how, but let me assure you that child welfare services will approve of this method) and a Nigel Latta special known as “The Ladder Of Certain Doom” in which a child’s bedtime is reduced half hourly with each act of disobedience. Latta has even provided a case that you can attempt to solve on your own using the rules and tools he has provided.

Without a doubt, there will be parents who will frown upon his methods, particularly those who advocate attachment parenting. If I had encountered this book six years ago, I would be aghast at some of the disciplinary measures suggested in this book but circumstances and children change. Some of Latta’s strategies are questionable and shocking like locking up your child in the laundry room during time-out and lying to your children because it’s “fantastic fun”. However, there are recommendations in this book that give me hope as a mother.

If you are considering reading this book, you must keep an open mind. Take the good and throw out the bad. In general, this is how you deal with any kind of advice, anyhow.

One thing I have to say is if you feel that you are at your wits' end as a parent and want to look for different ways to cope without yelling at your children, do give Nigel Latta’s The Politically Incorrect Parenting Book a shot.