MANILA: Emman Atienza, daughter of TV host Kim Atienza, opened up about her struggles with anxiety and online hate weeks before her unexpected death.
In a series of posts on her Instagram broadcast channel back in September, Emman revealed that she decided to deactivate her TikTok account to take a break as her passion for social media had started to fade.
“I never really did social media for money. I did it for fun, self-expression, and community,” she wrote. “My main compensation was always the joy and passion I felt when posting, which has been fading.”
The late social media influencer said that while she initially joined TikTok as a form of “exposure therapy” to overcome insecurities, the constant stream of online hate began to take a toll on her mental health.
“It’s becoming increasingly hard to be authentic and proud over the past few months,” she admitted. “Don’t get me wrong, I can handle hate. I’ve gotten death threats from DDS (Diehard Duterte Supporters) every day, misogynists in my comments telling me I’m stupid, and burner accounts of high school bullies trying to egg me on.”
“Every time I post, I feel excited but also anxious and dreadful knowing there’s going to be some hate I’ll have to force myself to ignore,” she continued. “I catch myself checking my notifications every few minutes, hyper-aware of every little thing about me.”
Emman, who had been a longtime mental health advocate, said she remained grateful for the supportive community she built online.
“I’ve met so many amazing people along the way,” she said. “Not only have I become infinitely more confident, secure, and authentic, I’ve also gained traction pretty quickly and had almost a million followers too, which is very cool. I’m so grateful.”
“I just need to breathe a bit and take a break,” she added. “Thank you guys for following me! It really means a lot.”
Emman’s death was confirmed by her parents through a joint statement on Instagram on Friday, Oct. 24.
Celebrities including Heart Evangelista, Geneva Cruz, Andrea Brillantes, Marian Rivera and Jericho Rosales expressed their condolences.
“Emman was such a ball of sunshine po (yeah). My deepest condolences to you and your family. Sending you my prayers,” commented Brillantes.
“My condolences to both of you. May God give you the strength to endure this heartbreaking loss. My children and I grieve with your family,” said Cruz. - Philippine Daily Inquirer/ANN
