Why honesty is the best policy

Datuk Nicol David sharing her life experiences at the Equatorial Plaza, Kuala Lumpur yesterday. YAP CHEE HONG/ The Star.

CAN we truly be honest with ourselves?

I believe that we tend to focus more on negativity rather than looking at the bright side of it. I know because I’ve gone through it.

We do not give ourselves enough credit that we lose our focus and our sense of worth. That is how our confidence is shaken as we grapple with reality.

Many of us, myself included, have felt that we can manage emotions by being physically in control but it can actually work against us.

I learnt this the hard way but I am so thankful for the experience.

I’ve been meticulous with every detail in everything I do throughout my squash career because I knew if I kept to it, I would become a better player.

I did it well and got what I wanted and that was truly fulfilling. But my journey to become the world No. 1 involved lots of hard work.

I felt that if I am not the top player in the world, I am not me anymore.

And I struggled when I lost that No. 1 position as that status was everything to me and I thought that was the only thing I had that I was recognised for.

I then became obsessed to regain the top spot that was mine for so many years.

I pushed my body as hard as I could until I realised that at one point that – to regain the No. 1 spot was not the problem.

The reality was that I had lost my self-worth and my confidence had been broken.

I realised this about two years ago after one of my worst performances in my career.

My coach, Liz Irving, asked me a question that I had been dreading.

“Do you really want to keep playing?”

It really shook me and I went home and cried my eyes out.

As I calmed down, I wrote down the things that have made me happy. I asked myself what I would like to do outside of this (squash) and even made a list of what I have achieved.

The funny thing is that I had not acknowledged all that I have done.

It is crazy that we only remember the bad moments and let the good times slip out of our minds. This is when I knew, my time had come.

I realised that I had only two years left in me to give my all in the game. I shared this news with Liz and suddenly the weight on my shoulder was lifted.

The moment when I accepted that I’ll be retiring, that is when I started appreciating myself again.

It is important that we sit down and reflect on our life.

I started asking lots of questions and I would suggest you do the same. Keep asking questions.

Who am I? What do I want? Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be with? The beauty of this is that the truth will surface ... eventually.

I’ve gone through a lot but I would advise those who are struggling to seek help. Do not be afraid to ask for help.

It can actually be the most powerful thing you can do for yourself.

Datuk Nicol David retired as the greatest female player of all time, winning a record eight world titles, 81 PSA titles and dominated the world No. 1 spot for 109 consecutive months from 2006-2015.

The views expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of The Star