Of jackfruits and unfunny jokers

A stand-up comic makes some hateful jokes and is pilloried. But do we need to take it to Interpol? Malaysian authorities seem to be chasing fruitless cases and ignoring things that matter.

THERE’S this Hindi movie on Netflix I would recommend to anyone who loves a good laugh. It’s called Kathal – and it’s hilarious. It’s about a couple of jackfruits – buah nangka to Malaysians – that get stolen just before ripening. The thing is, the jackfruit tree belongs to a politician and he gets the entire town’s police force on the job of tracking the thieves, who turn out to be ... never mind, go watch the movie.

Meanwhile, a human trafficking gang is active in the area, kidnapping girls – and the story is all about how the cops go on a wild jackfruit chase while the real criminals are getting away.

There’s a Malaysian link, too. The jackfruits are of the Uncle Hong variety, from Johor. Come to think of it, there’s a lot more of Malaysia in the movie than just the jackfruit.

Malaysians cops, and other enforcement authorities too, also seem to be stuck chasing fruitless cases while ignoring really important matters.

Take a recent story that really piqued me. An Indonesian cleaning lady had to be rescued from a flat in rather dramatic circumstances. The officers broke down the door, burst into the bathroom and, as could be seen in the viral videos, used some electrical machinery to cut through some heavy chains to free her.

They then arrested a couple for the offence of holding her captive while the woman victim went missing.

Without her, there’s no case against the couple. Those who abuse workers should face the music. And if the victim was an illegal worker, the immigration department should step in.

How did she go missing? She’s no jackfruit. Shouldn’t she be in protective custody or something? Or handed over to the Indonesian embassy? What were the cops chasing? Were they busy with other things, like seizing colourful watches?

We have scammers stealing millions; we have huge sums of money going missing from government coffers – yet the cops are chasing after rainbow-coloured watches and persons who are effeminate.

Surely there are more important matters to worry about?

The economy is in tatters. Yes, it’s a worldwide phenomenon, but we have been badly hit. The same goes for the ringgit. Interest rates in the United States may be the cause, but our currency is sliding against the Singapore dollar, Thai baht and Indonesian rupiah too.

Yet, politicians here – just like the one in the movie – are more interested in those they consider to be something of a fruitcake.

Let’s get one thing straight. I am no LGBTQ advocate. I have no idea when they will stop adding letters of the alphabet to that description. It started as LGBT, and is now LGBTQA+ – and growing longer. It’s getting very confusing.

I believe we need normal heterosexual men and women for the species to survive. But I also believe there is no need to be repressive. We can just live and let live.

There’s nothing wrong with the rainbow colours either. In hospitals, children’s wards are painted in those colours. It’s supposed to add gaiety to the place. And gaiety in this case means happiness, not what the anti-gay brigade may think.

Where does this end? You can’t look up in the sky after it rains?

As though going after watches and people with questionable gender weren’t bad enough, we now have cops going after a comic based in the US, who made some decidedly unfunny jokes.

Yes, the woman was a jackass whose sense of humour was totally misplaced. Jocelyn Chia went on a hateful, spiteful rant in the guise of comedy. For that, she was hammered soundly on social media and had to go dark for a while.

In return, she was maliciously maligned by other netizens. But to have Interpol go after her? Now, that’s a real joke.

Her “jokes” were deeply offensive, but can we really call it a criminal offence? Like Chia herself says, the police action only serves to make her more famous – and Malaysia a laughing stock.

She used the F-bomb on stage, thinking it was funny. It was not. But we also have politicians who do the same – in the Dewan Rakyat!

The thing is, we have bigger comedians right here.

There’s this guy who has apparently proposed that flights in and out of our airports be scheduled according to Muslim prayer times. If he has his way, our airports will be closed five times a day with scores of planes going round in circles while everyone on the ground is praying.

I can imagine the passengers in those planes praying for their lives too.

One airline is even ready for that. It provides prayer sheets for the passengers, with verses for Muslims, Buddhists, Confucionists, Hindus, Christians and Catholics (apparently, the last two are different faiths).

Now, there’s an airplane tale that is not at all funny.

Then, there was this guy who said we should print more money to solve our economic woes.

And we have yet another who thinks health reform means baggier clothing for female nurses. Not better working conditions or higher salaries, just looser clothing.

I tell you, these politicians can really be a whole lot funnier than poor Chia.

Some are just hateful, like her too. They call others racists or communists and distort history. And when caught with their pants down, they laugh it off as a joke or a misquote.

The misplaced hatred must stop.

The police, and enforcement authorities, should just leave the LGBTQ, comedians and dogs – yes, there are many who hate these animals – alone and go after the thieves, robbers, hired gunmen and the Mat Rempits who are back in action in Penang despite a tragic death.

Oh yes, they could also get Interpol to trace the long-missing ex-husband of Indira Gandhi or even the oft-sighted but never arrested Jho Low.

Or even the hundreds of missing persons who have yet to be found.

Then the politicians can really bask in the fruits of their officers’ labour.