PETALING JAYA: There has been little or no change in the expectation that women take on the role of managing the home and children despite being working mothers, say experts.
All Women’s Action Society (Awam) deputy president Eve Lim said there is an imbalance in the sharing of household responsibilities compared to fathers.
“Not enough men are taught about shared responsibility, while still expecting their wives to take on these roles even if they are working mothers,” she said.
She noted that some mothers feel guilty when spending time without their children, as they have been socially conditioned to manage all the child’s needs, often at the expense of their own leisure time.
“As such, greater awareness of self-care and the importance of spending time alone is crucial for the mental and physical health of mothers,” she added.
Lim was responding to a recent study by the National Population and Family Development Board (LPPKN), which revealed that about 66% of mothers in Malaysia do not have enough personal time.
The survey, she said, showed how normalised such attitudes are in society, where mothers are expected to sacrifice all their time for their families.
“The survey itself is important because it acknowledges that mothers’ self-care is necessary in normalising a regular and healthy amount of ‘me time’ for women who are mothers,” she added.
She suggested increasing access to and affordability of quality childcare services, better protection for caregivers and strengthening family-friendly workplace policies.
Lim added that the government can play an active role in encouraging husbands to share household responsibilities while shifting societal expectations of motherhood.
Clinical psychologist Lavender Tan explained that living with chronic stress poses a risk of both mental and physical illness.
“It’s important for everyone to have spare time to take care of their mental and physical health and to decompress.”
“When I speak to mothers who are overwhelmed and overloaded, none of them are asking for two-week-long breaks to the Bahamas.
“They just want time to eat a meal in peace, go to the gym without a million things on their minds, take a nap in the middle of the day or read a book without being interrupted,” she said.
She also said some husbands “weaponise incompetence”, making their wives feel less capable when seeking help with household chores.
