Television education: 25 things we learn from watching TV

Hairy situation: In Tamil TV dramas, macho men have thick mustaches and hair.

The Spuds learn a thing or two from watching TV.

We never really make a conscious note of it but television perpetuates stereotypes more than most things.

Five things we learn from American shows

1. There are vampires and zombies lurking everywhere! And, superheroes too! Let’s not forget aliens – they seem to love the US.

2. Everyone has a flexible work schedule – in case of an emergency (like if your best friend is going through a bad break up or if you, like Dexter, need to kill someone) just leave work and if you feel like it, come back and resume your duties. No questions asked.

3. Malls have more than enough parking spaces – at any hour of any day, you never have to drive around looking for a place to park.

4. Family life is so full of comedy material it can keep a show like The Simpsons running for more than two decades. How nice if our families were as funny.

5. CIA and FBI agents are a dime a dozen. In fact, the American population seems to be made up of equal portions of CIA, FBI, the undead and aliens.

Five things we learn from British shows

1. British people have bad hair days (Sherlock Holmes, for one), like us. And they don’t always dress to the nines (the entire cast of Little Britain).

2. All British people are funny. Even when they’re evil, they can crack us up, tastefully. With a delightful accent too! Even when they don’t speak (Mr Bean jumps to mind), they are hilarious.

3. Britain is almost always cold, dreary and grey – we don’t think the sun ever shone on Broadchurch.

4. Everyone in Britain goes to the pub. Oh wait, that’s real life, not TV.

5. Cops in Britain don’t eat donuts (or doughnuts). You think you’d ever see Idris Elba or Benedict Cumberbatch chomping on a donut during a stakeout? Pshaw.

Five things we learn from local dramas

1. Men are only nice when they’re courting you. After marriage, they become completely chauvinistic. Oh wait, that’s real life again.

2. Tears. Everyone cries all the time. At home. At work. At the malls. At the car park (if they can find a parking spot!).

3. It’s unanimous – mothers-in-law are mean.

4. Mat rempit and other delinquents can turn over a new leaf in half an hour.

5. Women in power are always evil, make lousy mothers and are control freaks. Seriously?

Five things we learn from Tamil dramas

1. Macho men wear thick moustaches. And have thick, wavy hair.

2. Even the most horrible person to have ever lived is ready to apologise at the end of the show. Most used phrase: ennai manichirring-ge (forgive me). And another: ennai kappatheng-ge! (save me!)

3. Rich people are always mean. Poor people are humble and kind and do good.

4. Mothers-in-law are pretty darn nasty on this continent too.

5. Twins and triplets are usually separated at birth, brought up by different families (one rich, one poor) and spend entire series falling in love with the same suitor or each other. Aiyoh Kadavale!

In Korean TV dramas, it is sometimes hard to tell the pretty girls from the pretty boys.

Five things we learn from South Korean dramas

1. South Korean girls go to sleep and wake up with immaculate make-up on – false eyelashes and all! Daebak! (Awesome)

2. When a couple first meets, or during a momentous romantic scene, slow motion is a MUST.

3. You can’t always tell between a Korean boy and a Korean girl.

4. No matter how poor one is, no one ever wears the same outfit twice.

5. Unrequited love, first love, secret love triangles take place all the time. Oh wait, real life again.