5 quotes to help us navigate through life

This is the power and importance of all art. The story we read, the song we hear, the painting we absorb on the surface is just the beginning of how it can shape us. — INAYAYSAD/Wikimedia Commons

In his novel, A Widow in Thrums (1889), JM Barrie wrote that God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December. The quotation has stuck in my mind for as long as I can remember, helping me reflect on good times and cherished memories whenever I’m going through difficult periods.

I found another memorable quote from the Scottish novelist and playwright in his classic novel Peter Pan (1911): “Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.” This has helped me mostly in times of grief, reminding me that while we experience the pain of loss, we can also be grateful for what we gained from having someone in our lives for a time. It also reminds me that, like the clock-swallowing croc that hounds Captain Hook, time rolls on and we can spend that time living in fear or be present for the people and adventures that give life its meaning.

If you’re anything like me, you might not recall the entirety of all the stories you read or know which album a favourite song comes from, but pieces of a story or song can stick with you in ways you didn’t expect.

Quotations are sometimes described in grand terms, that they will “change your life forever”, as though just by reading them you’ll be instantly transformed. That’s unlikely, but what they spark or inspire within us can change us over time through subtle shifts in how we think and behave.

This is the power and importance of all art. The story we read, the song we hear, the painting we absorb on the surface is just the beginning of how it can shape us. We might be initially unaware of how something affects us – a line, a flurry of notes, a subtle smile on canvas – but in time we come to know that it has.

Reading quotations alone is unlikely to change your life, but perhaps how you come to reflect on them will. On that note, I’d like to offer five quotations that have continued to influence me over the years:

1) “... sooner or later she had to give up the hope for a better past.” – Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death (2008) by Irvin Yalom (1931-): An American existential psychiatrist who is emeritus professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, Yalom reminds us that, while it can be useful to reflect on and understand our past, dwelling on it for too long means we miss out on the life unfolding here and now.

Parts of our past can be painful but no matter how much we try, we can never change what’s been and gone. How we choose to live now is what’s important. Our choices from now on are creating the past we’ll come to look back on in 10 or 20 years from now.

2) “Nobody who says ‘I told you so’ has ever been, or ever will be, a hero.” – Ursula K. Le Guin (1929-2018): The American sci-fi writer, best known for the Earthsea and Hainish universe books, shines a light on how easy it is to observe and judge from the safety of the sidelines. Like a chess piece that never moves, the game goes on and affects us anyway.

Those who live their values and take calculated risks – knowing that life is always uncertain – are the ones who create the most precious memories to be cherished.

3) “There’s a crack in everything/ That’s how the light gets in.” – Anthem (1992) by Leonard Cohen (1934-2016): In the idealistic sense, no one and nothing is perfect. American poet and songwriter Cohen reminds us that it’s in the imperfections of life that meaning and purpose, passion and love are found.

When we look at a sunset or walk in nature, we never think that it should be altered or made better. We appreciate the experience as it is. When we extend that acceptance to ourselves and others, we can appreciate and be grateful for the person as they are without needing them to be different.

4) “What a child doesn’t receive he can seldom later give.” – Shroud for a Nightingale (1971) by PD James (1920-2014): The English novelist – best known for detective novels featuring Adam Dalgliesh, a police commander and, unusually, poet – highlights a universal truth: We are all products of our environment. A child raised to learn that the world is a dangerous place is less likely to thrive if that dangerous place also exists in the home.

We all encounter people who can be difficult. Sometimes, we’re the ones who are difficult. This is why being kind is important because it recognises that we all struggle at times and none of us is without problems. Showing kindness to someone might be one of the few times they feel like they matter.

5) “It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses.” – Middlemarch (1871) by George Eliot (1819-1880): George Eliot was the pseudonym of Mary Ann Evans, an English novelist, poet, journalist and one of the leading writers of the Victorian era. In Middlemarch, considered her best work if not one of the best British novels, Evans observes the kind of wishful thinking we all engage in at times. If there is change we wish to see in our lives, we have an important role to play in creating the necessary conditions for that change to happen.

Life is unlikely to work out exactly as we like; nevertheless, we have the choice to be actively engaged in the process of living or resign ourselves to a life that happens to us.

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Sunny Side Up columnist Sandy Clarke has long held an interest in emotions, mental health, mindfulness and meditation. He believes the more we understand ourselves and each other, the better societies we can create. If you have any questions or comments, email [e-mail]. The views expressed here are entirely the writer's own.