Inkie is sulking because he wants sofa tuna too. — Photos: ELLEN WHYTE
Target has recovered from his dental operation in April. He’s eating like a champion, bouncing about with Tic Tac, shouting insults at the dogs that walk past his windows, and thoroughly enjoying himself.
But his dental ordeal has led to Tic Tac and Inkie fomenting a revolution. It is my fault because I played favourites. I didn’t mean to.
You see, when our poor old boy was at death’s door, we tucked him up in bed. I popped up with a teaspoon of tuna and a creamy treat every two hours, and kept him company while he struggled through it.
It saved his life, and when he finally staggered downstairs, I fussed over him, switching on the heated blanket on the sofa and serving him tuna.
Tic Tac and Inkie are very kind. When Target was ill, they fussed over the old boy too. Tic Tac licked his ears and Inkie hovered protectively with big worried eyes.
But now Target is hale and hearty and when he insists on keeping his sick-day privileges, Tic Tac and Inkie think
they should share in the special treatment.
Initially, I was firm and pointed out that everyone already has this.
Target has recovered fully.
Special treatment
Tic Tac and Inkie say this is not enough. They want in on the special tuna service.
I put my foot down with good reason: both Tic Tac and Inkie have the awful habit of taking their fish out of the bowl, setting it down and giving it a furry forensic examination before eating it.
Wiping down the counter and floor three times a day is not a problem, but there is no way I’m having my bed and furniture covered in fish flakes. It’s bad enough having to police Target!
A sensible person would have restored normality weeks ago. However, Target is almost 18, and at that age, I think he should have whatever he wants, when he wants.
Tic Tac and Inkie declare this is ageist and they refuse to accept this. They put their heads together and launched a full-on bullying campaign.
When I put down the sofa tuna, Inkie hopped up and hijacked it. As he is huge and determined, pushing him away worked for about two seconds. If Target complained, Inkie nipped his senior on the bum.
To frustrate the tuxie thug, I put him on my knee. He sat there, sulking furiously between purrs as I petted him.
Target is now hale and hearty.
It left Tic Tac in command of the field. She adopted different tactics, but she’s just as naughty. Our princess slid in, purring loudly and pretended to kiss Target. But the second he lifted his head, she was in his bowl.
When I pushed her away, she went instantly to Tom, wailing she was badly treated and demanding compensation.
Bedtime tuna was the same. I had to sit with Target, holding the other two at bay.
You’d think Target would appreciate this, but no! Instead of eating his tuna nicely, he slowed down, chewing each flake mindfully, and side-eyeing Tic Tac and Inkie. The wicked boy knew full well that every bite fuelled his furry friends’ jealousy.
As Target’s escalation was about to ignite open war, I declared a halt and reset. I stopped bedtime tuna, offering a late kitchen supper.
Real love
Inkie and Tic Tac agreed, but Target refused to come downstairs. He sat in bed, meowing pitifully that he is too old and too furry to move.
Being tough, I held firm for three nights. The spoilt fluff retaliated with psychological warfare. The miscreant began waking me up at 2am to tell me he was fainting with starvation.
Between the three of them, I’m broken.
If it’s cold and Target is in bed early, he gets his own little bowl – much to the disapproval of the other two. To make it up to them, we have regular sofa tuna for three - and I shake out the cat-printed blanket afterwards.
In an effort to please them all, the chaos means every furry feels unfairly treated. They demand extra cuddles to make up for it, but it hasn’t occurred to any of them it is me who is run ragged.
Whoever says cats are standoffish and low maintenance should visit our home and learn how life under the velvet paws really look like.
Still, I wouldn’t change a thing. They make their demands and are shameless about it, but they put me at the centre of their lives.
As Target, Inkie and Tic Tac demand to cuddle with me all day every day, even when there’s no food in the picture, there’s no doubt in my heart. The love is real.
