Beware of ‘monkey-barring’ in romantic relationships

To protect yourself from the love trap of monkey-barring, communicate directly with your partner if you have any doubts. Photo: AFP

Monkey-barring is a new term that’s emerging in the world of dating and relationships. This curious expression, inspired by the way monkeys swing from branch to branch, refers to having one relationship on the go while exploring another. This potentially unhealthy behaviour may be motivated by a fear of being single.

In the complex world of dating, new terms are constantly emerging to describe behaviour that is often toxic. The latest in line is monkey-barring, referring directly to the way monkeys swing from branch to branch (or the way you might swing from bar to bar at the playground) only letting go once they’ve caught onto the next one.

As such, this analogy applies to monkey-barring individuals who waver between two romantic relationships.

Why might they do this? Quite simply, to explore their options and avoid committing to a partner. This should not be confused with polyamory – or open relationships – which involves having a relationship with several people on a consensual basis.

This form of romantic acrobatics could reflect a deep-seated fear of being single. Hayley Quinn, a dating specialist interviewed by Metro UK, explains: “If you’re unsure whether a relationship is for you, there can be a huge temptation to explore another one, whilst keeping your existing relationship afloat before you jump ship... Many people will stick to a relationship that’s not quite right, because the thought of going back to square one is too daunting.”

In the end, people who practise monkey-barring don’t really invest themselves in any of the relationships they’ve got one foot in.

What’s more, they risk hurting their partners, who may emerge from the experience emotionally wounded, with their self-esteem completely shattered.

Fortunately, there are ways to protect yourself from this love trap. The simplest solution is to communicate directly with your partner if you have any doubts.

“If you think this is happening to you, don’t shy away from explicitly stating your expectations around the relationship and always remember your self-worth,” the dating expert told Metro UK.

Like other dating trends, monkey-barring serves yet another reminder of the importance of openness, communication and sincere commitment in relationships to avoid double-dealing. – AFP Relaxnews