Chinese zodiac: Is the Rat your friend or foe?

Not all marriages have fairy tale, happily-ever-after endings. Somewhere down the road, some couples discover they do not get along and, for the Chinese, some may think they should not have gotten married because their zodiac signs were incompatible with each other's.

Feng shui consultant Stephen Chin said: "Couples today fall in love and marry, only to later discover they are not compatible after all. Their decisions were based on physical attraction and raging hormones! The zodiac sign had nothing to do with it."

He cited that, in ancient times, couples were matchmade, some even while they were still babies! This appears cold and loveless but, interestingly, such marriages tend to last.

He explained: “These couples may think they do not have much of a choice and decide to make the best out of it. They grow to love each other over time.”

Zodiac factor

It is fun to generalise people according to their "animal signs" and character traits. In truth, our compatibility with one another is far more complex, according to Chin.

In Chinese astrology, the animal signs are just symbols to represent the 12 roots in the stem-root system (to mark the passage of time). It is a simpler concept to teach in ancient times when illiteracy was the norm, he explained.

Even within the 12-animal Chinese zodiac, he explained, “There are variations based on the five elements – earth, metal, water, wood and fire. The year’s stem (tian gan in Mandarin) for 2020 is Metal and the root (di zhi) is Water. Both interact to create Earth, which is the actual governing element for 2020. Many people, he said, do not understand this and tend to make the common mistake of associating the year's stem as the governing element.

The notion of zodiac sign compatibility comes from the concept of the root unions. “Basically, the Rat forms a union with the Dragon and Monkey. Hence, people born in these years are considered good friends. The Rat is also friends with the Ox, ” he said.

On the other hand, the Rat is in direct contrast or conflict with the Horse. However, the Horse has its own "gang" comprising the Tiger and Dog. Therefore, people born in these years are generally incompatible with the Rat.

Chin clarified that these are generalisations as “no two persons born in the same year are identical”.

For real life examples, there is the Rat who discovers that her spouse is the Dog (an incompatible zodiac). She now understands why there is friction in the relationship.

One Rat-Ox couple was supposedly compatible but unfortunately their relationship did not last. They became estranged.

Chin quipped: “We cannot literally think that someone born in an ‘incompatible’ year will not get along. Have fun with this and tease your friends about the clashing animals, but don't take it too seriously!”

Personal source code

From an Environology (a term to represent a modern way of learning and applying ancient principles) perspective, the merit in matchmaking is that it ensures a high degree of compatibility. Each person has a personal source code which determines how our genes are expressed. Two siblings may share similar DNA but turn out very different in their physical appearance and mannerisms.

This personal source code (also known as Bazi) can be computed based on the date and time of birth. It can show a person's character traits and life journey. Matching two people whose journeys complement each other will be a definite advantage in a marriage. Chin lamented that this practice is not likely to be widely accepted. He reckoned that if someone told you the man you want to marry is not suitable for you, you might marry him just to prove the naysayers wrong! “But it does not mean the person is making the right decision, ” he quipped.

He said: “Our personal source code also reveals the type of marital life we are likely to have. Some of us are doomed to have a domineering spouse (and in-laws!); some may have a timid, indecisive partner; some may marry several times while some may never marry at all.”

If you are married to a spouse who drives you crazy, Chin said: “Stop wondering how life could be if you had only chosen a different person. Chances are, that person or anyone else will drive you just as crazy!”

The idea of compatibility, he opined, is far more complex than simply matching animal signs. He said: “The best advice I can give is to do a life reading to identify your personal source code, and manage your expectations. Then at least you will not get as worked up when your spouse says or does something stupid... again.”

You and your boss

Some people conclude that they do not get along well with their bosses because their zodiacs clash. If they are the underlings, how should the boss behave? If the rival zodiacs are their bosses, what should the subordinates do?

In these scenarios, Chin said, animal sign compatibility is not a reliable yardstick to gauge relationships.

Although a person with the opposing animal sign may somehow not get along with you, it may not be the only factor. He felt there could be differences in personalities, where your happy-go-lucky style rubs the authoritarian boss the wrong way.

“Your peace-loving, compromising approach to problem-solving may exasperate your boss who wants you to be more assertive. If you are an employee at the receiving end, you do not really have a choice but to comply with what is demanded of you, or look for a more suitable job elsewhere, ” Chin said.