It is crucial for men to speak up for women and speak out about discriminatory practices and toxic masculinity. Photo: 123rf.com
Gender equality isn’t “just a women’s issue"; it affects everyone regardless of what their gender is. And this, says Society for Equality, Respect and Trust for All Sabah (Serata) vice president Robert Hii, is why it is so important that men stand in solidarity with women in advocating for gender equality.
Globally, the HeForShe movement is an example of a movement for men and people of all genders to stand with women.
The White Ribbon Campaign is another worldwide initiative of men and boys to end male violence against women and girls. In Malaysia, the White Ribbon Campaign was run by the All Women’s Action Society (Awam) for many years.
“The movement is really about asking men to recognise that in a world that is male-dominated, we, as men, have the power and influence to recognise women as equal partners,” says Hii.
“This can happen in the small decisions we make day to day: that we don’t discriminate against women hires, that we give them equal opportunity to management positions, and that we make allowances for childcare in the workplace. By making these choices, we make it possible to be truly representative, fair and equal and end gender inequality in our lifetime,” he says.
It is important for women to have men as allies, he adds.
“Unfortunately, a lot of the problems that women face with regards to discrimination and harassment are largely dictated by men.
"Yet, without the support of men, it’s always framed as a women’s problem rather than a societal problem, and it’s made to appear as if men are not involved in the solution, says Hii.
Human rights activist Rizal Rozhan agrees, adding that the role men play in advocating for women cannot be understated.
However, he emphasises that the role that men play must be complementary; men must not be seen as a "saviour”.
“I need to highlight that men’s role in the fight for gender equality is not as a ‘saviour’. They have to work in tandem with women, with women’s movements and women’s rights advocates/activists. It has to be a joint effort,” he says.
And while it’s very important that men support women, it’s equally important that men talk to other men about the harmful effects of “toxic masculinity” and actively change gender misperceptions, he adds.
In 2018, Rizal - who is an executive committee member of Empower, a women's rights group in Malaysia - started the Men Against Toxic Masculinity (MAT) support group for men to address issues of toxic masculinity in their lives.
Addressing toxic masculinity
Rizal says it's important for men to stand together with women in advocating for gender equality. Photo: Rizal RozhanWhat exactly is “toxic masculinity”?
Rizal says that to properly define it, the phrase has to be dissected into “toxic” and “masculinity”.
“Masculinity refers to the attributes and behaviours that are ascribed to being “men” or “manly”; toxic masculinity refers to harmful traits that aren’t healthy but which people think are necessary for them to ‘look, feel and be deemed’ as masculine,” he says.
“In Malaysia, for example, there is this train of thought that ‘men should be the main breadwinner of the family, be dominant, and not seen as vulnerable’. These traits become toxic when they negatively impact the man’s life,” he explains.
The alarming rise in suicide rates among men, he highlights, is a very stark example.
Statistics show that men are more likely to self-harm or attempt suicide due to the stresses of keeping up with these expectations, he says.
A study Looking Into Recent Suicide Rates and Trends in Malaysia: A Comparative Analysis (2022) by Bob Lew, Kairi Kolves, David Lester et al states that “between 2000 and 2019, the minimum and maximum suicide rates for both sexes in Malaysia were 4.9 and 6.1 per 100,000 population respectively, while the past three-year (2017-2019) average rates were 5.6, 8.8 and 2.4 per 100,000 population for both sexes, males and females, respectively”.
However, the study also states that “between 2014 and 2019, the suicide rates increased significantly for males".
"In 2019, Malaysia recorded the rate of 5.8 per 100,000 population, with an estimated 1,841 suicide deaths, five deaths per day. The Malaysian male suicide rate was the second highest among the Muslim countries surveyed, and in the mid-range among Asean countries."
According to Dr Craig F Garfiels, Anthony Isacco and Timothy E. Rogers in their paper, A Review of Men’s Health and Masculinity (American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine), men’s susceptibility to suicide is associated with socialisation into gender roles.
Men who adhere to traditional masculine norms are more likely to be involved in health-impeding behaviours such as ignoring self-care and reluctance in seeking medical or professional help (seen as non-masculine) which adversely effects their physical and mental health.
“The data about the increased rates of suicide among men during the pandemic isn’t surprising. One can only imagine the external pressure: they are the breadwinners but weren't able to bring in an income... and they became depressed and suicidal as a result,” says Rizal.
Gender equality isn’t 'just a women’s issue'; it affects everyone regardless of what their gender is. Photo: Freepik
Toxic masculinity also harms women: for example, the idea that to be manly, “you have to show that you’re powerful by dominating women”.
“Men aren’t allowed to show their emotions or cry. Instead, they are told that they should be dominating and overpowering and, no matter what race or background, men are ‘supposed’ to be able to ‘control their women’,” says Rizal.
This transcends the public sphere too, he points out.
“A good example would be the recent case of a woman who wore shorts to the police station and people's responses towards it,” notes Rizal, referring to the reactions of the police, politicians and other parties when the woman was reprimanded for wearing shorts to the police station.
“If you discriminate against someone because of what they are wearing, not only is it very immature, it’s also sexist, misogynist and patriarchal in nature because if it was a man wearing shorts to the police station, he might not have been frowned upon in the same way,” he says.
But Rizal is quick to clarify: “I’m not saying all men are toxic, but that some forms of masculinity or what people think of as masculine, are toxic and can negatively impact men, women and society as a whole."
“Solving the issue means sending out the message that men can be vulnerable, share their feelings, and even talk about how to solve mental health issues such as anxiety, depression and suicide,” he says.
It also means sending a clear message that it isn’t men’s role to control women – this misperception is deeply harmful.
It makes sense
In a society where there's gender equality, men as well as women can be the best version of all they can be, without the gender constraints imposed by society, says Hii. Photo: SerataTo Hii, “it makes sense” for men to promote gender equality because, in a gender equal society, both men and women can be the “best version of all they can be”, without the gender constraints imposed by society, he says.
“Gender equality affects men just as much as it does women – women are stereotyped as being emotional, while men are told that to be emotional is weak; there is a glass ceiling for women, while men are driven to be society’s workhorses.
“In the fight for gender equality, men are also fighting for their own rights in the areas of paternity leave, equality, and mental health.
“For them to join the fight for gender equality, men too get allies from all corners of society – including women – and this makes it possible to find better representation for their issues as well,” he adds.
Change, says Rizal, can only happen through education and examples set by leadership.
Although more men are becoming allies, there needs to be greater advocacy and literacy on the issue.
“There are two ways to handle the situation: from the bottom up where education starts from the family and goes up the rungs of society through advocacy and activism; and from the top down where country leaders and company executives speak out on behalf of women, and make known the harmful effects of toxic masculinity to their ministers and personnel.”
While both channels are important, Rizal feels good leadership is crucial but, sadly, often lacking.
"For example, if the norm is that only men can hold certain jobs or be paid more than women, and if governments, families, economies, media and educational systems are only structured with men in charge, then patriarchal systems will continue to rule," he says.
A 'whole-of-society' approach is needed to deal with the deep-rooted cultural issue of women being objectified and stereotyped, says Abinaya. Photo: WAOWomen’s Aid Organisation’s (WAO) advocacy director Abinaya Dhivya Mohan says that a “whole-of-society” approach is needed to deal with the deep-rooted cultural issue of women being objectified and stereotyped.
“To deal with this in the long term, we need a whole-of-society approach. The Education Ministry, for example, must be involved in educating Malaysians on gender equality, how women should be portrayed, etc, and we need to start from young. The message that’s put out must be across the board,” says Abinaya.
A whole-of-society approach is necessary because gender issues, sexism, and victim blaming don’t just happen to women alone, but also to men and non-binary individuals, she says.
Abinaya adds that training must be provided, referring again to the case of the woman reprimanded for her attire.
“The comments really signify the objectification of women. Unfortunately, there are aspects of our culture that dictate how women should behave, how we should present ourselves, and our role in the public sphere. And, that our worth is directly linked to this. This is very wrong from a human right’s perspective,” she says.
Smash the patriarchy
Rizal highlights another key role men play as allies: putting a full-stop to patriarchy.
Patriarchal societies and systems are “systems where men rule”, he explains.
“Patriarchy is very difficult to change because it’s so culturally ingrained in our society.
“The patriarchal system can only be overcome from within. So, in this case, men’s role in standing with women is important – to tell other men about the issue and to help change other men’s perception.
“Unfortunately, in Asian society, women are viewed as the ‘weaker’ sex or subservient – not just by men, but also sometimes by other women who tell them to ‘accept their lot’, and be happy to have a role even if it’s a subservient one.
“So if women were to speak out that this isn’t cool, the chances of men not listening or responding positively are higher.
“This is why men who are more self-aware must step up. They have to advocate for women,” says Rizal.
By standing together, men and women make it clear that gender equality isn't just a women’s problem but it’s society’s problem. Photo: StarGraphics
“There are instances where cultural practices have changed over time when people understand how harmful they are, for example, bride-burning in India, and foot-binding in China. These were practised culturally for a long time, but they were eliminated through advocacy and education, which made people understand how harmful they were... that they were a violation of human rights,” he says.
Even though the issue of women’s rights has been raised for years – the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) was adopted by the United Nations General Assembly in December 1979 – yet, this issue still hasn’t been resolved or looked at very seriously.
“We have to address the root problem, which lies in patriarchy. Men need to speak up to help change other men’s views; we can’t just stay silent and be a bystander in women’s issues,” he says.
Malaysian men, says Hii, can emulate international solidarity initiatives such as HeForShe, a global movement started by the United Nations for men and people of all genders to stand in solidarity with women.
Men can emulate international solidarity initiatives such as HeForShe, a global movement started by the United Nations for men to stand in solidarity with women. Photo: Freepik
“By standing together, we make it clear that everyone is invested in the solution, it’s not just a women’s problem but it’s society’s problem, and we have a chance to work through these issues and help our society to progress and improve,” he says.
Rizal agrees.
“How can Malaysians help? I think we’ve to continue to spread the message to the community about the harmful effects of the toxic traits of masculinity.
“I don’t think the message is reaching far and wide enough. Men are still not comfortable talking about it with other men,” he says, adding that perhaps “new and modern ways such as film and social media" to create awareness and disseminate the information need to be explored.
“We men have to take a deep look within ourselves and try to be better. It’s a reflective and correctional journey,” concludes Rizal.
