Web Wanders: A smart move … or maybe not

ANTI-SOCIAL: Getting too absorbed in your smartphone instead of actually spending quality time with people can bring about damaging results. - AFP

As ingenious an invention as it may be, overindulgence in smartphone usage may eventually take a toll on our relationships, if we are not careful.


IT IS a busy world out there, and it’s really easy to put on that busy look anytime you feel like it. All you have to do is just pick up your smartphone and get absorbed in something that’s on it.

It doesn’t really matter whether you’re doing anything that’s worthwhile or not. The effect is the same: Everyone else around you will conclude that you’re occupied and want to be left alone.

Well, that might be alright, I suppose, if you’re on a long distance bus ride and are seated next to an annoying stranger who persists in talking to you despite your many attempts to hint to him that you’d much prefer to have some peace and quiet.

But such behaviour may not be appropriate when you’re in the company of those whom you know and care about. Getting too absorbed in your smartphone instead of actually spending quality time with them can bring about damaging results.

That is the message that 29-year-old Charlene deGuzman, a Filipina-American comedian, writer and improviser, hopes to drive home through her short film on YouTube, I Forgot My Phone (youtu.be/OINa46HeWg8).





Phony pals?

In just a little over two minutes, deGuzman, who wrote and also starred in the film, presents her viewers with the story of a young woman who finds herself ignored and inevitably lonely despite being constantly surrounded by people, including those whom she loves.

The reason that this is so is quite plain to see: Everyone around her was perpetually on their mobile devices, caring more about what was going on in the virtual world rather than what was right in front of them.

And, ironically, even in those few occasions where others were showing regard for her, those moments were still tainted by disruptions involving the use of a smartphone.

For instance, midway through raising a toast, her friend pauses to snap a photo of the both of them on her phone (presumably to upload onto a social media site).

Even her own boyfriend is equally obsessed with his phone, and he is shown still gazing into it while he lies in bed with her.

Digital distractions

I felt a tinge of sadness while watching this video, and that’s probably because the story deGuzman had crafted was very much true to life. I could relate to many of the scenes in the film, and I’m sure many of you would too. There’s surely at least one instance in your life (or probably more) where you’ve lost the attention of someone because of a phone.

For me, I get rather upset when this happens. I guess that’s because it makes me feel like I’m unimportant. It’s the notion that something in cyberspace was valued more highly by the other person than I was.

Another reaction that I often have is that I assume the other person must be utterly bored being with me, hence they willingly welcome all forms of distraction on their phones just to be relieved of their restlessness.

Perhaps these may not be the actual reasons for someone turning to their phones while in my presence, but what I’m saying is that this is how I feel when it occurs.

Granted, it will be a bit too extreme for me to completely forbid others from using their phones while they’re with me, but there needs to a way to draw the line somewhere. Maybe occasional phone checking is still acceptable, but not during crucial moments or during serious conversations.

I feel it is really tragic for us to get so caught up in things that are happening everywhere else in the world but where we are, to the point that we ignore the ones that are right before our eyes. If we’re not careful, we may eventually lose them someday and live to regret it.

Walking the line

Mind you, I speak as a smartphone owner who immensely enjoys using her mobile device everyday. I play games on it while waiting in queue, watch random videos on a whim, and check my Facebook and Twitter account every now and then just like everyone else.

I also really cherish the convenience of being able to connect with others through the use of mobile messaging anywhere, anytime.

So it’s not that I don’t appreciate the wonders of technology, and in particular, that of a smartphone.

Yet, over time, I must say that I have grown to realise the importance of putting down my phone when someone is sharing their deepest secrets with me.

Nowadays, I also stop to think a little harder before posting another new photo to my Facebook profile, because I realise that, more often than not, it’s nothing more than just a bragging exercise.

I realise too that the rest of the world doesn’t need to know where or how my husband, sister, friend or parents had celebrated with me on my birthday, at Christmas or Valentine’s. Because at the end of the day, the fact is that I know that I am loved and that is the more important thing.

So, dear readers of mine, while we continue revel in the cool, nifty gadgets that we own, let’s be careful to never prioritise things over people. Phones and tablets can easily be replaced, but that is not the case when it comes to the special people we are privileged to have in our lives.

• Susanna Khoo keeps her smartphone close by her side, but holds her family and friends closer to her heart.  She hopes you will do the same. Regale her with your very own tales of smartphone induced woes at [e-mail].