LONDON: Many parents are worried about how much time their children are spending on screens, and whether it’s bad for them.
But the reality is, research suggests they should be more concerned about the effect their own screen time is having on their kids.
As a new study reveals more than half (56%) of children aged eight to 16 say their parents’ phone use causes them to miss important family moments, tech psychology expert Dr Paul Marsden stresses that parents who think kids’ screen time is an issue need to look at their own screen use first, as there’s a stronger association between parental screen use and negative outcomes for children than there is for negative outcomes from kids’ own screen use.
He explains that Australian research has found parental technology use in their child’s presence may negatively affect young children’s health and development as it’s significantly associated with poorer cognition and social behaviour, lower attachment, higher levels of internalising and externalising problems, and higher levels of screen time.
"The association between parental overuse of phones and children’s outcomes is actually stronger than the kids’ use of screen time,” says Marsden, who explains that while further research suggests around 0.4% of the differences in teens’ wellbeing can be linked to their screen use, the Australian study found parents’ screen use explains up to one to five per cent of the differences in children’s thinking skills, emotional and behavioural problems.
Marsden, a chartered member of the British Psychological Society who runs the Digital Wellbeing website, says: "Kids learn screen habits from their parents. If parents are going to worry about screen time, they should start with their own.
"So the first thing a parent can do before laying down the rules for their kids is get their own house in order because kids copy parents. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”
The new study by Virgin Media O2 found parents of under-18s spend more than two hours a day using their smartphones unintentionally – picking up their phone automatically or spending longer scrolling than intended – and 43% admit they struggle to only use their phone intentionally, while half (50%) say they have little to no control over how they use their phone and the Internet.
And 63% of children believe their parents simply don’t realise how much time they spend on their phones.
"Parents are spending two hours and six minutes every day – 40 minutes longer than the average UK adult – using their phones unintentionally,” observes Dana Haidan, chief sustainability officer at Virgin Media O2.
"But this isn’t simply about individual behaviour or willpower. It’s because many of the digital services we use every day are designed to capture and hold our attention, making it easy to lose track of time.”
Virgin Media O2 have created a Digital Intentionality Score to help people understand their phone use and offer practical ways to manage their digital habits, and Haidan points out: "Parents want support to build healthier digital habits and spend more quality time together as a family.
"Whether it’s pausing before you unlock your phone or turning on app timers, there are simple steps that can help people feel more informed, more confident and more in control of how they use technology.”
Marsden explains the problem with parents’ use of phones and screens is when it causes what psychologists call technoference – or ‘phone snubbing’ their children.
This is when phones or digital devices get in the way of interactions and conversations, so a child might try to speak to a parent, but the parent is too busy looking at their phone to listen or have a conversation with their child, so they’re phone snubbing them.
"It’s important to keep it in perspective,” he stresses. "Your screen time as a parent will only harm your child if it interrupts conversations and shared experiences.
"It’s not that your screen time as a parent is harmful, it’s only potentially harmful if it gets in the way of your relationship with your child.”
As well as the potential damage parental phone snubbing can do to a child’s thinking and emotions, another problem stems from them copying their parents’ behaviour.
"Kids are imitation machines – they model what their parents do,” warns Marsden.
"So if you’re a parent and you phone snub your child, your child is more likely to snub others as well. Every parent knows children will do as you do, rather than what you say – we copy and we model what our parents do.
"That’s probably the biggest impact the associations would suggest – this modelling effect, it’s like a behavioural contagion.”
Another problem linked to both parent and child overuse of phones relates to something called displacement theory. This may occur when using screens stops families from doing other, more valuable, things instead.
Marsden explains: "It’s when screens get in the way of doing things that we know have a positive impact on your wellbeing, like physical activities.
"It’s not that the screen’s bad, it’s that your child’s not out playing.”
And even if your child is out playing and you’re perhaps filming them on your phone, are you actually enjoying and savouring your child’s activities?
"If you’re more focused on filming, you’re undermining the pleasure and the wellbeing effect of bathing in your child’s exploration and activities,” Marsden points out.
He says ways to tackle parental overuse of phones have to be achievable to actually work – so there’s no point taking it too far and banning phones for both parents and kids.
"The practical thing for parents to do is set phone-free zones or phone-free time,” he suggests, stressing that’s for the parents as well as the children.
"So when we’re watching TV, there’s just one screen and you’re not dual screening. You might snub your child because you’re watching the film rather than double snubbing with your phone too.
"And one phone-free dinner a day does more good than a hundred screen-time rules.”
Perhaps most importantly, Marsden suggests families have phone-free bedrooms, pointing out: "Most of the impact of screen use on wellbeing is low, but what we do know is the impact of phones on sleep is really strong and negative.
"So the best thing a parent can do is to get phones out of their own bedroom and get them out of the child’s bedroom. because if the child comes in and sees a digital screen in the parent’s bedroom, that sets the rules, the norms.
"So having zones and times that are phone-free means the risk of mobile phone snubbing, or technoference, is reduced and something that’s manageable, rather than saying you’re going to be a paragon of good parenting and have a complete phone-free life.
"It’s about little manageable things.”
And finally, he adds: "Don’t beat yourself up – phones were designed to interrupt – they are weapons of mass distraction. The trick is to not let phones distract you from your kids.” – PA Media/dpa
