Are we doing enough at home for our children?

RECENT headlines about violence, sexual misconduct and bullying in schools have deeply unsettled our nation. Each tragedy – a student hurt, humiliated or even lost – raises the same question: What is happening in our schools?

But perhaps the harder, more uncomfortable question is this: What is happening in our homes?

It is easy to blame schools, teachers or the system for failing to instil discipline. Yet, the roots of respect, empathy and self-control are first planted at home.

Schools are extensions of the community, not replacements for family values. If a child enters school without having learnt kindness or accountability, the classroom alone cannot fill that gap. As the saying goes, “Charity begins at home.” So does character.

A colleague recently shared a troubling story. Her young daughter, barely in primary school, was shown the middle finger by a classmate, and another child went on to explain what it meant. These are children who still struggle to tie their shoelaces yet are fluent in gestures and phrases that belong in adult spaces.

In today’s digital world and lifestyle, our children are exposed to everything – words, images and behaviours we never encountered at their age. Shielding them completely is impossible, but guiding them through it is our duty.

My colleague did something right: she told her daughter, “Whatever happens in school, tell me.” That single act of communication builds trust.

Many parents are so busy providing for their children that they forget to simply be with them – to listen, talk and connect.

We often talk about discipline, but the word comes from disciple – to teach, not to punish.

Conversations are more powerful than canes. When we engage our children with empathy and curiosity, we help them navigate a confusing world with clarity and conscience.

Values are not taught in a day; they are lived every day. The home sets the tone, and the heart sets the example.

So, before we ask, “What is the school doing?”, let us first ask, “What are we doing at home?” Because every child is a reflection of the conversations we have – and the ones we don’t.

And now, more than ever, parents and teachers must work hand in hand to create safe and nurturing environments for our children. This is not the time to point fingers but to join hands – to build a generation that knows compassion, respect and responsibility.

DR NAVEEN NAIR GANGADARAN

Paediatrician

Hospital Tuanku Jaafar Seremban