Tips for handling peer pressure

Shinz Jo: Find friends who share your beliefs and more importantly, accept you for who you are.

HAVE you ever felt the need to behave in a certain way to be accepted? For example, be it in school or within social groups, have there been times where something was seen as “cool” yet your gut feeling told you otherwise?

I have encountered instances where I felt conflicted between going with the flow and staying true to my feelings. Thankfully, with the help of these five tips, I managed to overcome peer pressure and stand by my principles. I hope you will find the courage to do so, as well.

1. Prioritise how you feel

If you feel guilty or uncomfortable doing or saying something, pay attention to such emotions. Even if people around you seem all right with what is going on, don’t mistake your feelings for cowardice and consequently neglect them. Instead, trust your instincts and put your priorities and needs above trying to please others.

2. The power of “No”

Be firm and certain with your refusal. “No” can be a one-word sentence so it’s okay to say it without giving an explanation or justification for your action or decision. Additionally, don’t feel obliged to apologise because putting your well-being first is not wrong. If others continue pressuring you, be persistent in your refusal and show them that you are not willing to back down. This would reduce any pressure you might face in the future.

3. Get away from the pressure

Change the subject of the conversation to divert the attention of whoever is giving you the pressure. Then, continue to lead the focus away from whatever is making you uncomfortable. However, if the other person presses you for a response, think of excuses to leave. Ultimately, the best way to prevent being caught in such awkward situations is to distance yourself from people who pressure you to do things against your will and avoid going to events that may create stressful situations.

4. Communicate

Talk directly to the person who is pressuring you. Send a clear message that you feel uncomfortable when the person does so and ask him or her to stop. Being transparent with the person about your thoughts may enable him or her to understand your point of view and resolve any misunderstanding. However, if the individual refuses to acknowledge your feelings, it’s time to move on.

5. Build a support system

Find friends who share your beliefs and more importantly, accept you for who you are. Not only can you freely be yourself but during stressful situations, you’ll have someone to back you up and empower you to resist peer pressure. Seek help from trusted adults too, like parents or teachers. They can provide emotional support by listening to your worries, as well as giving advice.

Shinz Jo, 18, a student in Selangor, is a participant of the BRATs Young Journalist Programme run by The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) team.