O-Levels: A test of the mind

FIVE months prior to my O-Level examinations in November last year, I felt like a fish struggling in a sea of assignments and high expectations.

Having conquered the examinations and emerged as the top student of my school in Singapore, I realised that the journey had not only strengthened me academically, but also brought me closer to the knowledge of how best to live life.

In 2019, I began my life as a Secondary Three student in Singapore, having won a scholarship to study in the island republic.

At the start of Secondary Four, the rigour of the academic curriculum built up and I found myself having difficulty coping with new concepts and techniques for almost all subjects.

Pillars of support: Jeslyn (centre) took breaks from studying with the encouragement of her friends.

I was juggling assignments that were piling up, my various leadership roles and application for Direct School Admission into a junior college.

When the first common test results were released, I not only failed to meet my expectations, but my grades had also worsened from the year before.

At this rate, I was definitely not going to be eligible for the junior college that I aspired to enrol in.

As if struck by a violent wakeup call, I committed my following months to pure mugging (a Singlish phrase for studying intensively) and surviving on practice papers.

I modified my timetable such that my waking hours were spent on the sole purpose of studying.

While many were busy hoarding toilet paper due to the Covid-19 lockdown, I was almost as frantically hoarding reference books and past-year papers. I even sacrificed lunch breaks just for an extra 30 minutes to practise math.

I felt a constant sense of not being “good enough”, especially since I was a scholar.

I also absented myself from all social activities and did away with morning jogs and leisure reading in the hopes of squeezing out more time to study.

Despite my efforts, I still felt inferior. Needless to say, the effect was detrimental.

While I did complete more practices than anyone else, this method of studying took away the joy I once found in learning.

I was studying merely for the sake of grades and the superficial assurance that I was on par with everyone else.

Ironically, the more I studied, the more stressed out I became. It was as if the more I mugged, the less I smiled.

While being cooped up in my hostel due to home-based learning, my friends noticed my abnormal daily routine and asked me to join them in taking breaks from studying.

Though hesitant at first, I finally opened up to them about my struggles. Tears were shed, hugs were received and words of encouragement were exchanged.

Deep down, I knew I needed a respite from the mental weight I was bearing and with the encouragement of my friends, I took breaks.

We followed workout sessions on YouTube, made cakes with a microwave oven and did a mini photoshoot in our rooms.

We also formed a really effective study group and became each other’s pillars of support.

For the first time in months, I felt alive again and with that, my productivity and efficiency improved.

There was something to look forward to every day, instead of having to face black and white question papers by myself 24/7.

I also found my own coping mechanism, which was journaling and blogging. Reflections helped guide me to improve both my subjects and studying methods.

I came to realise that one’s greatest competitor is oneself and that I should not have anchored my standard of comparison in anybody else.

All I had to aim for was to become a little better than I was the previous day. Armed with this optimistic mindset, my joy in learning blossomed once again.

As the final examinations neared, I was able to cope with my anxiety and stress well, even entering the examination hall with confidence and no second doubts.

I eventually scored straight A1s and was accepted into my targeted junior college. More than the joy and satisfaction that accompanied this success was the knowledge that I had grown and matured mentally.

I learned to prioritise my mental well-being and to set boundaries when pushing myself to achieve more.

It was not just a test of the O-Levels, but a test of my personal maturation as well.

Jeslyn, 17, is a participant of the BRATs Young Journalist Programme run by The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) team. Throughout the year-long programme, participants aged between 14 and 22 from all across the country experience life as journalists, contributing ideas, conducting interviews, and completing writing assignments. They get to earn bylines, attend workshops, and extend their social networks. To join Star-NiE’s online youth community, go to facebook.com/niebrats.

Do you resonate with Jeslyn’s journey? In not more than 350 words, tell us how you cope with examination stress as a student. Email your writeup, along with a photograph (optional), to us at [e-mail]. Remember to provide your full name, age and the state you are from. By submitting an entry, you stand a chance of being featured on this page! Now in its 24th year, The Star’s Newspaper-in-Education (Star-NiE) programme is continuing its role of promoting the use of English language through a weekly activity page in StarEdu.

Parents and teachers are encouraged to work on the activities with their children and students. In addition, Star-NiE’s BRATs Young Journalist Programme will continue to be a platform for participants to hone and showcase their English language skills, as well as develop their journalistic interests and instincts.

Applications are now open for the BRATs 2022 programme. Follow our updates at facebook.com/niebrats. For Star-NiE enquiries, email [e-mail].