On days where things start going wrong even before you're properly awake, it seems as though by definition nothing can go right.
But it is a matter of perspective, say specialists. Your day can be saved. Psychologist and coach Nanni Gluck shares these tried-and-tested tips:
"Allow yourself to grumble, moan, complain or get annoyed," says Gluck. After all, the emotion is present anyway. "Give it the space it needs to unfold."
She says it helps to set a time limit. Programme an alarm for three minutes. "That’s quite enough," says Gluck.
Don't overlook the funny side of things, either. "Don’t vent your anger in English or any other language you know; use gibberish instead.”
Just rant away in incomprehensible gibberish and let your frustration out. Gluck says this helps prevent you from being overwhelmed by your own emotions. "After all, it’s rather silly to rant in gibberish.”
If that seems a bit too silly for you, then Gluck has another approach. "Step right back, zoom out of the situation for a moment and look at what’s happening from the outside.” View yourself as an outsider, as a person to whom something really unpleasant has just happened. Of course that person is allowed to get annoyed.
But once you have a bit of distance on the situation, it soon becomes clear that the whole thing is just a snapshot, a moment in time. Often, if you look to the future, you gain a sense of distance. It becomes clear that the situation will pass. Seen from the perspective of the day after tomorrow, everything seems to matter much less than it did.
Now press the pause button in your mind and look around for all that is good, beautiful or funny in your immediate surroundings. Right now, in the moment, just where you are. "Find at least three things and dwell on them for a few moments," says Gluck.
That could be the cup of coffee on your desk or the sun shining through the window. She says positive emotions broaden your perspective, which in turn creates new scope for thought and action, even if the situation remains unchanged for the time being. "But you’ll come back as the capable and successful person that you are.”
If your mood hasn’t improved yet, Gluck recommends the next step: "Devote yourself to something that truly brings you joy and is fun.”
It helps to have a list prepared with at least 10 things that do you good. "The list is important because, in moments when life hits rock bottom, you’re guaranteed not to be able to think of anything off the top of your head," she says. "At the top of my very own personal list is popping bubble wrap. I love it!"
Bear in mind that on a truly terrible day, you are not likely to feel like doing something so trivial as popping bubble wrap.
"Do it anyway,” says Gluck. "I promise you, after a few moments at the latest, joy will take over again.”
Perhaps there's a chance to rescue that bad day after all. – dpa
