Contradictheory: My secret to losing weight (it's not what you think)

Maths helped our columnist go from looking like Hill (left, as Donnie Azoff) to more like DiCaprio (as Jordan Belfort in a still from 2013's 'The Wolf of Wall Street'). — Paramount Pictures

A year ago, I was told the bad news: my cholesterol level was “borderline high”, and my uric acid was “borderline high”, as well as several other things that were “borderline high” – my recollection is somewhat blurry.

The doctor also told me the good news: All these problems could be alleviated if only I lost some weight.