The lies we tell ourselves


  • Living
  • Monday, 06 Mar 2017

It’s best to face up to our own inner demons before taking on a new visage. Photo: The Star

The first quarter of the year is almost over, and I must say it has been a pretty dramatic start so far.

What with Trump policies pushing through, Oscar mix-ups, and on the homefront, disturbing news of assassination, abduction and murder making headlines, there seems little respite that things could be getting better this year.

We tell ourselves little white lies to feel better.

One lie we often feed ourselves is that we’re happy to age gracefully. Many are not, which is why the aesthetics industry is thriving.

Well, apparently plastic surgery is facing a decline in Britain as more women shun facelifts and go for less invasive methods to look younger. According to data from the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS), face and neck lifts fell by 53% last year compared with 2015, and eyelid surgery was also down 38%, reported The Telegraph.

Zone Facelift, offered by a spa in London, is touted to give results which are “fresh, not frozen”, and involves facial reflexology and Japanese massage, promising to slice off 10 years in 12 weeks. This, and other non-surgical options such as chemical peels and microdermabrasion, are more in demand instead.

Experts said that only procedures which had no “non-surgical” alternative remained popular. Interestingly, the number of men having abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) was up 47%.

“In a climate of global fragility, the public are less likely to spend on significant alterations and become more fiscally conservative,” said consultant plastic surgeon and former BAAPS president Rajiv Grover.

In other words, if you’re low on cash, your looks are gonna take a back seat!

Well, someone forgot to give Asia the memo as there has been no let-up in the pursuit of youth and the V-shape face in our part of the world.

It’s one thing to want to refresh your looks to look a little younger, and a different thing altogether when one opts for a complete overhaul.

Half the time, people go under the knife for all the wrong reasons.

Perhaps, it’s best to face up to our own inner demons first and come clean as to why the physical change, before taking on a new visage and starting on a new slippery slope.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves is coincidentally the title of a new book. The subtitle says, “How to face the truth, accept yourself and create a better life.”

In it, the author, psychotherapist Jon Frederickson, talks about the ways we fool ourselves and how to get unstuck. His book aims to show people how to create a better life by letting go of our lies and facing reality.

It is not my intention to promote the book, nor have I read it. However, the synopsis on Amazon caught my eye as it read: “Although we may use falsehoods to escape pain, clinging to our fantasies actually becomes the source of greater suffering.”

How apt as this month is all about empowering women, unleashing their potential by taking ground-breaking action and driving change, in conjunction with International Women’s Day this Wednesday. So many women tend to sell themselves short and think they’re not good enough no matter what they do. Women are intrinsically conditioned to take on the burden of the world, rather than pat themselves on the shoulder for a job well done.

It’s about time we got unstuck and step up to the fact that, hey, doesn’t matter what you do, or how you look like at whatever age, we’re all pretty awesome gals!

On a different note, here’s one lie I’ve been telling myself. For years I reckoned I’ve managed and that I can get along fine even if I can’t hear properly.

There’s a small hole in my right eardrum as a result of an operation to remove a tumour. At that point, I was grateful that I could still hear anything at all so I wasn’t really bothered. Over the years, it would appear my hearing loss has deteriorated to a severe stage.

Recently, I volunteered for a hearing aid test programme. It was impressive how the devices have advanced so much from the time my father-in-law had one; it was also a defining moment how everything sounded so much clearer for the first time in years.

So, the cold hard truth is, I have a serious hearing issue; the half truth – that my life won’t be severely impaired if I didn’t get a hearing device.

I haven’t made a decision yet, but sometimes, it just seems easier to live with a lie ...


Before the truth can set you free, you need to recognise which lie is holding you hostage. Share your thoughts with star2.com.my.

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The lies we tell ourselves

   

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