When a child runs away from home

Teens rarely run away from home on impulse; they usually do so due to a complex mix of factors. — Positive Parenting

As parents, we strive to create a loving and safe environment for our children.

However, sometimes, despite our best efforts, teenagers may feel compelled to leave home.

Hearing about runaway teens in the news can be concerning, prompting many questions:

• Why does this happen?
• What risks do these young people face?
• And most importantly, what can parents do if their child runs away?

Why they run away

Teens rarely run away on impulse.

Most cases involve a complex mix of emotional stress, personal struggles and challenging environments.

Understanding these factors can help families intervene with empathy and support.

Common reasons include:

• Family conflict

  Ongoing arguments, parental divorce or feeling unheard at home can push teens to escape tension or emotional neglect.

• Abuse or neglect

  Physical, emotional or sexual abuse – or even general neglect – can make a home feel unsafe.

• Mental health issues

  Depression, anxiety or low self-esteem, often intensified by school pressure or lack of support, can overwhelm teens.

• Peer influence

  Friends who encourage rebellion or independence can sway teens to leave.

• Romantic relationships

  Relationships that are not approved of by parents may prompt teens to leave in search of acceptance.

• Gender identity rejection

  Teens who are struggling with their gender or sexual identity, or who face rejection for who they are, may run away from homes where they experience discrimination or feel unsafe.

• High-risk behaviours

  Involvement in substances or risky online relationships can create conflict at home.

• Avoiding punishment

  Some teens run to escape confrontation or fear of being reprimanded.

Warning signs

Teens thinking about running away often show signs of emotional distress.

These may include increased isolation, mood swings, withdrawal from family activities, or expressing feelings of being misunderstood or hopeless.

If not addressed, these issues can escalate.

Teens who leave home face real dangers ranging from exploitation, trafficking and substance abuse, to physical violence and mental health crises.

Without shelter or resources, many are forced into survival behaviours that put them at even greater risk.

If your teen runs away, stay calm and act quickly:

• Contact the police immediately

  Report them missing and provide a recent photo and relevant details.

• Reach out

  Get in touch with your child’s friends, school contacts and family members who may have seen or heard from them.

• Avoid blame

  While waiting for news, don’t play the blame game.

  Focus on maintaining calm, open lines of communication.

Upon return

When your teen returns, prioritise listening without judgment.

Understand their reasons for leaving and validate their emotions.

Rebuilding trust takes time and professional support can be key.

Consider seeking help from organisations like the Malaysian Mental Health Association (MMHA), which offers counselling and guidance.

Ultimately, open communication, empathy and consistent emotional support are so important to preventing teens from feeling the need to run away.

Make space for honest conversations, show genuine interest in their lives, and remind them they are always loved no matter what.

Dr Thiyagar Nadarajaw is a ­consultant paediatrician and ­adolescent medicine specialist. This article is courtesy of the Malaysian Paediatric Association’s Positive Parenting programme in collaboration with expert partners. For further information, please email [e-mail]. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and it should not be construed as personal ­medical advice. Information ­published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, ­damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.