Ways to help if your loved one has a heart attack include taking care of yourself and acknowledging your own feelings about the situation. — dpa
Relatives of heart attack survivors often expect themselves to step up right away, do all they can to help and not show any signs of struggle or weakness, experts say.
But that can be difficult.
After all, whether it is your parent, sibling or partner, when someone you love has a heart attack, there is a tremendous sense of relief that they survived, but new worries also emerge.
But often, people tend to choke back those feelings, out of concern for the patient, not wanting to upset them or place any additional burden on them.
Relatives tend to hide their own fears, worries and feelings out of a desire to help, say German heart specialists.
But that can inadvertently have the opposite effect.
Isolating yourself and being less than open and frank can create emotional distance, say cardiologist Dr Christoph Herrmann-Lingen and psychologist Dr Jonas Nagel in an article for the German Heart Foundation’s magazine.
Relatives should look after themselves first, they say, and do so honestly and with self-compassion.
Ask yourself, do you feel afraid? Or that you are unable to cope?
Do you feel frustrated about having to cut back in other parts of your life like your job?
Acknowledging these feelings will help you put them into words.
By taking stock of your own feelings, you can initiate an open exchange with the person suffering from heart disease, though it may require some courage to take this step.
But it is worth it, as it will enable both of you to better understand each other’s behaviour that could otherwise be confusing.
Being open will also help you to clear up or avoid any misunderstandings, and perhaps find new solutions.
Try to set aside time and space to hold this kind of conversation, rather than having it on the go.
One way to do so is by organising a family conference.
But you or other friends and relatives may have already reached the point where you are running out of strength or your fears are getting the better of you, which could be a sign that a mental illness has developed, such as depression, an anxiety disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Try talking to your family doctor for an initial assessment and to clarify what to do next.
After all, including the family in the healing and recovery process is important.
Involving family members is a good idea for cardiological rehab, which is also a place where you can talk about ways you handle the new situation together. – dpa
