For Britney Spears, distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder.
In a series of audio messages posted to Instagram Saturday (Sept 10), the pop princess addressed her strained relationship with sons Jayden and Sean Preston Federline after Jayden opened up about his relationship with Spears in a recent interview.
"I used to have my kids at one point way more than (ex-husband Kevin Federline)," Spears said. "From when they were six to nine years old I had them 70% of the time, and in the course since they've been gone, I've honestly felt like a huge part of me has died and like I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy; they were my everything."
She continued: "I looked forward to seeing them. That was what I lived for, and then all of a sudden they were gone and I was like, 'Did my heart just stop beating?' And honestly, I don't understand how it's so easy for them just to cut me off like that."
Earlier this month, Spears' 15-year-old son Jayden sat down for an interview with filmmaker Daphne Barak, published in the Daily Mail and aired in part on ITV in Britain.
In the interview, Jayden defended grandfather Jamie Spears, who headed Spears' controversial conservatorship for 13 years until its termination in November, as well as grandmother Lynne Spears.
"They are not bad people," Jayden said. "They know what we are going through now. They want our future to be what we want it to be. They just want to watch over us."
Spears offered a swift rebuttal to her son's comments on Instagram.
"If you can honestly sit back and say with your sensible brilliant mind what memaw and paw paw did to me was fine and call them not bad people ... then yes I have failed as a mother and hopefully that's a chat for you and your father to sit face to face and try to learn WHAT'S GOOD," Spears wrote at the time.
Jayden also chimed in on his mother's recent social media posts, many of which have consisted of nude photos of Spears as well as lengthy tirades against her family.
"It's almost like she has to post something on Instagram to get some attention," he said. "This has gone on for years and years and years, and there's a high chance that this will never stop, but I'm hoping for me that she will stop."
In one of her audio messages posted Saturday, Spears spoke directly to Jayden's claim that "she wants attention" and seemingly drew a line on the future of their relationship.
"I do want to be heard and I'm angry, and I kind of subconsciously want to offend people because I've been so (expletive) offended," Spears said. "But I'm afraid to inform you guys I'm not willing to see you until I feel valued."
"I gave you guys so much attention it was pathetic," Spears continued. "All I know is my love for my children is more than anything, and I'm sorry if I ever hurt you guys in any way." – USA Today/Tribune News Service