FROM the funny to the outrageous, there’s a Christmas-related book here for everyone. Laugh as Santa replies to kids pleading their way out of the naughty list or cringe while reading zombie-inspired Christmas carols. It’s a quirky Christmas indeed!
Santa Responds: He’s Had Enough ... And He’s Writing Back! by Santa Claus
I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behaviour for the entire past year rather than the activities that occurred during the two hours leading up to the writing of this letter. Two hours of good behaviour hardly justifies a new Playstation, let alone a trip to Disney World!
Your pal, Santa.”
Santa’s just back from a particularly strenuous, chilly night riding his sleigh around town, and he’s letting loose by replying letters sent to him by kids and pleading parents alike. Oh, and he definitely isn’t holding back with his replies. You’ve been a good kid all year, you say? Well, Santa knows the truth.
Skipping Christmas by John Grisham
Imagine a year without Christmas. No sparkly decorations, mouth-watering indulgences, lavish parties and no Christmas tree. Come Dec 25, Luther and Nora Krank won’t be staying at home as they usually would during Christmas, for they will be sailing across the Caribbean. The Kranks are in for a different Christmas indeed.
Santa Claus Is Dead by Jason Twede
An Elf is wandering around the forest when it stumbles upon a set of footprints leading to Santa’s body. However, nothing else is around for miles and the footprints disappear. And so begins an investigation led by bitter detective Johnny Iceberg.
Enter a world where Christmas tales come alive, and contrary to popular belief, your favourite Christmas characters aren’t what you would expect them to be. More importantly, experience the heartache of past Christmases and the promise of Christmas futures.
It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Zombies! – A Book Of Zombie Christmas Carols by Michael P. Spradin
Outside, the temperature’s dropping. Snow is falling. Sleigh bells are jingling. Soon, it will be that time of flesh-devouring horror – Christmas is on its way! Santa Claws is coming to town, and he knows who’s been naughty or naughtier ... and who’ll taste best with a glass of Chianti!
This merry macabre season, we present more than two dozen of the most soul-stirring carols composed for the decomposing. Favourites like I Saw Mommy Chewing Santa Claus, and Deck The Halls With Parts Of Wally, are guaranteed to lift the spirits of the undead and their temporarily still breathing meals-to-be. So sing loudly – to drown out the screaming!
Ugly Christmas Sweater Party Book: The Definitive Guide to Getting Your Ugly On by Team Ugly
Definitive in every way, the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party Book includes the history of the event, how to throw the perfect party, what to wear, and how to judge the ugly Christmas sweater contest. But most importantly, it is packed with more than 100 hilarious photos of outrageously ugly sweaters, including Scarf Face, Wreath Witherspoon, and Ryan Treecrest. A must-have for those who plan to throw or attend an ugly Christmas sweater party – and it’s all authorized by Team Ugly, experts on ugly Christmas sweater parties.
Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances by John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle
Let It Snow consists of three stories, The Jubilee Express, A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle, and The Patron Saint of Flying Pigs, that are all interconnected and based in a small city called Gracetown, which is right smack in the middle of a snowstorm during the events of the stories. There are stories about catching a cheating girlfriend, dyeing hair pink, and buying teacup pigs, which evidently sums up teenage romance. While braving the “biggest snowstorm in 50 years”, however, each of them grows and finds love. (Yes, this is a normal young adult fiction book – well, into the weirdest collection a little normal must fall.)
The Haunted Tea-Cosy: A Dispirited And Distasteful Diversion For Christmas by Edward Gorey
In the preface to the ever-popular A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens wrote that he tried “to raise the Ghost of an Idea” with readers, trusting that it will “haunt their houses pleasantly”. A few Christmases later, in 1997, New York Times Magazine asked Edward Gorey, also known as the “iconoclastic artist and author”, to refurbish this enduring tale. The result? A dispirited and distasteful – and yet strangely compelling – diversion for Christmas.
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