The real Wolf of Wall Street


THE New York Times (NYT) may have done us a favour.

It reported Thursday that Lloyd Blankfein, the then-chief executive of Goldman Sachs, had privately met with Jho Low – aka Felonious Fatso to friends and DoJ investigators alike – as far back as December 2012.

This is actually good news for modern man as it undermines the bank’s oft-claimed defence that only “rogue employees” were responsible for the bank’s involvement in the scandal we now know to be 1MDB.

But the NYT, a paper that has to be credible because Donald Trump dislikes it, is saying no, this could go all the way to the top.

Well, maybe.

Goldman swiftly denied the NYT report Friday saying that Felonious was, indeed, there but only at the insistence of the CEO of Aaber. In short, it claims that it wasn’t a one-on-one meeting.

Meanwhile, current Goldman chief executive David Solomon and presumably Blankfein’s successor said on Nov 15 that he felt “personally outraged” that any Goldman employee would do anything like what happened to 1MDB.

Just thought I’d mention it. That’s why it started with “meanwhile”.

In 2009, a now-famous Rolling Stone article by Matt Tiabbi unforgettably described Goldman Sachs as a “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money”.

I wonder why Tiabbi felt moved to such heights of eloquence?

Goldman’s shares have been whacked and their beleaguered management briefly wondered if a name change – to Goldman Sucks – might assuage the fury building up in Malaysia and the Middle East.

Indeed, we might as well jam our legal funnels into Goldman because everyone else seems to be getting into the act. Abu Dhabi’s International Petroleum Investment Co filed multimillion dollar civil suits against the filthy-rich squid early this week.

Goldman received US$600mil in fees for raising US$6.5bil for IMDB. Finance Minister Lim said Malaysia would seek the return of the entire US$600mil.

Lim the Younger is, of course, quite right.

This whole 1MDB episode seems to be falling apart and unravelling faster than anyone can count RM2.6bil. I think the Turks, who perfected this method, called it “drip-feed”.

On Thursday, our former Fearless Leader said that the government of Malaysia “had been cheated” by Jho Low.

You think?

Peerless Leader also said that “it was clear” that Goldman Sachs failed to carry out its responsibility. In fact, he said that everyone – “the investment bank, the lawyers and the auditors” - had let the country down.

The DoJ has taken careful notes over this earthshaking revelation.

Meanwhile, the US$4.5bil question exercising the finest minds in Washington and Putrajaya could be boiled down to three words.

Where was Felonious?

The pudgy Penang potentate – with that kind of wealth, he could be Emperor! – has been said to variously be in St Kitts, Hong Kong, Macao, China and Thailand. Even Interpol has failed to track him.

The last time someone was so “wanted” was Ronald Biggs but Felonious makes the late Great Train Robber look like Winnie the Pooh.

It is said that a fool and his money are soon parted.

Not for the fat fugitive. In his case, the Fool and Other People’s Money were soon partying.

Analyst Reports , Jayasankaran