Opinion: Passwords will be our downfall

But we need to have a talk, people. I mistakenly assumed you all surely wouldn't still be using the ol' '123456' password. NordPass says that's last year's No. 1 most common phrase in the US. I mean, really? — Login ui vector created by starline - www.freepik.com

Shhhh... the password is buttercup22$.

Keep that on the lowdown. And by lowdown, I mean scribbled on a yellow Post-it alongside my other passwords, and stuck to the bottom of my computer screen. Where nobody will be able to find it. I'm nothing if not stealthy.

Turns out, though, we ladies are better at passwords than the gents. Sorry, fellas. Our upper-body strength often pales in comparison to yours, but that hacker's going to drain your bank account first.

According to a recent study by NordPass, which, to be fully transparent, is a password manager with a two-year plan available now for US$35.76 (RM157.13), 69% of the top 200 most common passwords by US women are cracked in less than a second, as compared to 75% of common passwords by men.

The menfolk, according to this probably not very scientific study, are doing that thing of making everything about sports. Maybe you're reading this now and reflecting on how the phrases guarding your most private, important affairs, such as investment accounts and insurance portals, all contain the word "Broncos" and "Rockies." And ladies, I'm looking askance at us, too. Apparently, we're cheery little chickadees, with our "I love you" and "sunshine" passwords.

The ladies also, according to NordPass, are prone to using family and pet names, as well as dates to guard against invaders dying to send messages to Facebook friends on our behalf about our inability to escape foreign countries and desperate need for a speedy cash infusion.

I confess to using beloved pet names, but I'd also like to high five myself for being a smidge trickier, with my accompanying fondness for words from mostly dead languages. (I can hear the hacker laughing at me, not with me, from here.) Of course, none of this matters when I have these deceptive passwords jotted down all over the house and work, as I'd be willing to wager many of you do, too. And let me check my palm really fast. Yep, that one must have washed off in the shower. But probably it was just to unlock my upgraded Peacock account. And if I can't remember it the next time I go to log in, I've likely done my brain a favour and spared it yet another reality dating show. This forgetfulness and locking myself out of accounts could really be seen as a positive.

But we need to have a talk, people. I mistakenly assumed you all surely wouldn't still be using the ol' "123456" password. NordPass says that's last year's No. 1 most common phrase in the US. I mean, really? This suggests to me we've all pretty much given up. Hackers, take what you want. Just leave me with a few bucks to pay the rent and please don't embarrass me on TikTok.

The second most popular password? "Password," natch. Coming in at No. 6 is the stealthy combo "abc123," which takes less than 1 second to crack, the study reported. Even I could crack that nut, and I'm no Angelina Jolie in that subpar 1995 film Hackers although yes, close.

"Monkey" rolls in at No. 14. I don't even want to know what that's about. And then it's a lot of first names peppering the list, including "michael," "ashley," "charlie" and "buster." My own name, "jennifer," is No. 44, and according to NordPass, takes two whole hours to crack. I wouldn't have guessed that, but the world is full of Madisons, Monroes and Kendalls these days, so maybe.

"Letmein" is No. 69, a plea for help Julian Assange could crack as an amuse-bouche before Wiki-Leaking the world's secrets.

I don't know about you, but I might have a stash of old and new passwords tucked away on my phone and in a Word document, two places any half-functioning IT department will tell you are naughty places to put such things. But what else are our forgetful, absent-minded, just-want-to-get-into-my-library-account selves supposed to do?

I suppose there are these NordPass-type password managers, but who knows when I'll get around to upgrading my Post-it solution. I can barely schedule a dentist appointment. Plus, I'm feeling a bit better about my own password situation after eyeballing that smelly pile of commonly used passwords the rest of the country is using. No offense.

At any rate, if you do happen to have the time, interest and ability to get into my Hulu account, for the love of goodness, please don't watch any Adam Sandler or Tom Cruise movies or any of the Real Housewives franchises. You'll totally skew my recommended shows queue. – The Gazette (Colorado Springs, Colo.)/Tribune News Service