Our 3rd national car needs gadgets to deal with crime, lane-cutters and floods

Illustration by Zulhaimi Baharuddin.

I am eagerly awaiting the third national car - because I want to relive Malaysia's Golden Era when power windows didn’t work. 

Forget those dowdy experts who insist we should focus on public transport rather than cars. That’s “fake news”. 

Being a truly developed country has never been about mobility for the most people in the most efficient (and eco-friendly) way, otherwise Penang would have had an LRT system 20 years ago. 

It’s about jamming our roads with even more cars, just like Los Angeles. This will prove to the world that cars = jams = flyovers to solve jams =  sudah maju (already developed). Understand? 

And don't listen to those who say we lack the “economies of scale” for car manufacturing. We must instead scale the heights Trump-style to “Make Malaysia Great Again”. 

So yes, we shall push ahead with this new expensive national car project by sheer force of will, my way or the highway.

But we already have two national cars you say? Well, the original one was sold off to folks from China, and now we're not quite sure how "halal" it is.