Three couples share details on how their relationships stand the test of time
PETALING JAYA: While younger couples scramble for extravagant gestures for Valentine’s Day, three seasoned lovebirds – all in their 80s – prove that true love is not about fleeting romance but a lifetime of passion and patience.
From handwritten love letters to morning tea rituals and a love built through sheer survival, these couples are not just growing old together – they are thriving.
For Dr Lourdusamy Atputhasamy and Savundiram Singaravelupillai, their love story was written, quite literally, in ink.
Next year, they will celebrate 60 years of marriage – a diamond jubilee that began with a meeting at a house gathering.
At the time, Lourdusamy was studying in India, while Savundiram remained in Malaysia. But distance was not a hindrance as they courted each other for four years through letters.
“We wrote to each other almost every week and I still keep all the letters, from the first letter until the day we got married,” he said.
The couple may not make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day but to Lourdusamy, his wife is everything in his life.
Even in their 80s, their love is still in full bloom as the couple spends their days tending to their garden, a shared passion that keeps their bond strong.
The secret to their long and fulfilling marriage, Lourdusamy shares, is compromise.
“Loving one another is very important, but so is the give-and-take attitude. Don’t turn tiny differences into big issues,” he advised.
An 84-year-old retiree, who wishes to be known only as Wong, said his daily ritual is bringing his wife a cup of tea every single morning in their now 57 years of marriage.
“Take care of your wife and do whatever you can to make her life comfortable. All the heavy chores? You do it, don’t let your wife do it alone.
“She’s kind, compassionate and doesn’t put on airs. I’m very happy that I can make her happy,” he said.
For Tan Soon Mui, 84, and Loi Chi Juan, 85, their marriage has withstood the highs and lows for 60 years.
Tan said they both came from poor families with barely a primary school education.
“At the start, we had to work very hard to ensure our children were fed and well taken care of.
“We embrace each other’s flaws and there have been sacrifices made to continue the marriage,” she said.
Now in their golden years, they finally have the luxury of slowing down and spending more time together.
“We go out for nice meals every now and then,” Tan said, adding that she cherishes small acts of kindness by her husband.
She advised the younger generation not to focus too much on outward appearances and grand romantic gestures.
“It’s important to get to know the person for who they truly are and to work as a team,” she said.
