It’s not just the kids

JASON (not his real name) is suicidal. He is 14.

The private school student found himself sitting in psychiatrist Datuk Dr Andrew Mohanraj’s clinic after he wrote an essay about wanting to end his life.

In the months leading up to the school assignment, the boy was playing truant, being increasingly irritable in class and throwing temper tantrums, shares Dr Andrew, who is also the Malaysian Mental Health Association deputy president.

He wasn’t doing his homework and was lying to cover his tracks. He would tearfully keep to himself. Sometimes, he’d be rude to or even assault his siblings. Still in uniform, he’d get online after school and stay in front of his computer until late into the night, even skipping meals. He was either gaming or on his social networking accounts.

“Jason said he wanted to give up the Internet addiction and ‘be normal’, but he just can’t resist the compulsion because he feels ‘low and hopeless’ whenever he’s offline,” says Dr Mohanraj.

Jason is depressed and he wanted to escape that feeling by plunging into a make-belief world, explains Dr Mohanraj. Jason’s doing better now, and while he still maintains his Facebook account, he has stopped gaming.

Shy or socially awkward children are at a greater risk of addiction. The Internet is seen as an avenue where they can be understood and not judged. Many shy children and teenagers also end up spending excessive time on Internet forums for the lonely. So sudden deprivation of the Internet as a form of punishment can cause depression in children, he cautions.

Datuk Dr Andrew Mohanraj

Children must be encouraged to feel comfortable in the real world. This can be a challenge for parents who are themselves preoccupied with their mobile phones.

Such parents are in no position to encourage healthy social behaviour in their kids.

“It’s worrying that we’re seeing more of such cases of late,” he says with a sigh.

Parents are worried about Internet addiction, particularly gaming addiction. The rising trend is clear in his own clinical practice and also in the association’s.

Generasi Gemilang (GG) is also seeing more of such cases. It gets many requests to run programmes that deal with social networking, gaming and pornography addiction as well as cyber bullying.

The non-profit welfare organisation that focuses on strengthening the family unit and nurturing the younger generation, has come across a number of incidences and is involved in guidance sessions to help families.

“The digital world has something for everyone. Females mostly chat and go through pictures on Instagram and Snapchat. They are usually on social networking sites.

“Males will likely lean towards gaming or connecting in an alternate universe to engage with others,” says Keith Woo, GG’s cyber wellness section head.

If Internet use becomes a compulsive act where one spends unusually long periods online until it interferes with normal living, causes dysfunction and decreased productivity, such behaviour can be considered an addiction, warns Dr Mohanraj.

In children, the usual indicator of addiction is when school performance deteriorates and interpersonal interactions and relationships are compromised, he says.

“While there’s no real cut off duration to determine what is excessive, the question is if such excess has had a negative impact on social or occupational functioning.”

When one becomes an Internet addict, other family members are also impacted psychologically. For example, a husband with an Internet addiction can cause the wife to become depressed.

And it’s not just adolescents who are vulnerable to addiction. The generation that has school-going children were themselves part of the computer and Internet revolution, Dr Mohanraj points out.

“So it’s not unusual for parents and children to be addicted. It’s a challenge for parents to be role models when they themselves game excessively or are always connected to social media.

“I had a childhood depression case where the stay-at-home dad was addicted to computer games, paying little attention to the son, my patient.”

Woo agrees: “It’s a problem not just among kids or teenagers. The next generation of parents are as likely to be excessive users.

“Establishing a healthy family culture is a growing necessity if we are to navigate our way along the tech superhighway. Without the technology time-outs, family outings and heart to heart talks, it’ll be a struggle.”

Internet addiction is harmful to the individual, family and society, says Dr Mohanraj.

Those who spend too long in the cyber world have arrested emotional development. They no longer see the need to invest in real feelings.

They forge connections in the cyber world as opposed to establishing relationships in the real world. While they may feel validated and wanted in the cyber world, they can also be devastated by rejections or derogatory actions online.

Addiction, he says, is a state in which a person engages in compulsive behaviour even when faced with negative consequences.

Computer addiction is similar to addiction experienced by gamblers, alcoholics or drug users. All addictions operate on the same neurochemical basis and the pathways of pleasure and reward in the brain.

The “high” can be so overpowering that such individuals do not take notice of their hunger or exhaustion, at times leading to their death. Many such cases have been reported in the Asia Pacific region.

“Internet addicts get the same ‘high’ from the rush of hormones like dopamine and adrenaline experienced by drug addicts or pathological gamblers. Withdrawal from the Internet can be as devastating as what drug addicts go through.

“That’s why you have gamers becoming violent when they aren’t allowed to play anymore. They experience the withdrawal of being high and they become irritable and violent. They may even become depressed and suicidal.”

Treating Internet addiction is an uphill task because computers are essential for school work and are widely accessible. Imposing restrictions requires great parental effort and strong discipline by the child, he says, advising parents to take children who exhibit warning signs to a clinical psychologist.

A psychologist may suggest group activities to allow the child to express himself or herself and to derive pleasure from interacting with real people. If medication is needed, the child may be referred to a psychiatrist.

“Praise children for behaving well or achieving something so that they won’t have to get approval online. Parents must be familiar with how social media works and the security settings before letting their kids have an account. Parents must lead by example.”

Many end up online because it’s an accessible form of escapism, narcissism, and even hedonism, Woo thinks.