How we can help...

COMPASSION, communication and caring for people during their low moments are critical. Listen with sincerity. Don’t brush off their complaints. Communication is vital for the well-being of children and youths as it helps to build their mental strength and emotional resilience to prepare them for adulthood and worklife. Sadly, suicidal youths are often viewed as weak, pampered and unable to handle school or work pressures. Parents and teachers are sometimes to blame for instilling the ‘must not fail’ mentality and the stigma associated with ‘lost’ opportunities resulting from grades that aren’t good enough. A girl I once worked with had shared the issues troubling her and how, when she told her parents about them, they brushed her off and told her to move on. They lost her to suicide, which was heart-wrenching. If youths suddenly lose interest in things they enjoy, start isolating themselves, and become quieter, it is a cry for help.Validate their strengths no matter how insignificant it may seem. Spend quality time together. Empathy is especially important, not sympathy. Seek professional help. In times of crisis, youths need empathy and a listening ear. Do not give advice, do not say ‘you will be okay’ and ‘I understand’ because no one truly understands the pain and suffering of another. Never put them down for being ‘weak’. — Child therapist Priscilla Ho

SUPPORT family members or close friends who are depressed and suicidal. Offering a shoulder to cry on is good, but it is crucial to be non-judgmental. Those with depression are often perceived as having a personality defect. This myth should not be perpetuated. Nobody intentionally wants to be depressed or suicidal. There are multiple causes of depression – traumatic events, personality types and structural changes in the brain resulting in low production of chemicals responsible for mood. Direct them to the available services. Just helping them make an appointment or accompanying them to see a therapist shows how much you care. During particularly difficult periods, help take over some of their chores. Staying connected and showing you care is the best way to help loved ones while empowering them to make decisions for themselves. Suicidal people say things like they are a burden to others, or that life no longer has meaning for them. It is a myth that asking about suicidal intentions or plans aggravates the situation. The opposite is true. Suicidal people will readily respond and talk about their hopelessness if asked in a non-judgmental manner. Speaking kindly to distressed people or even just listening can make a world of a difference to them. If it is established that someone has suicidal intentions, remove access to dangerous materials and stay close to the person until professional help is sought. — Malaysian Mental Health Association president and consultant psychiatrist Prof Datuk Dr Andrew Mohanraj

PAY attention to the warning signs. Ask them about their suicidal thoughts and intentions. It encourages help-seeking behaviour. Some experience abrupt personality, mood or behaviour changes, increase their use of substances (like alcohol or drugs), project reckless behaviour, give away belongings, self-harm and experience changes in their eating, sleeping or grooming habits. Ask them how you can help but do not to put yourself in danger. Keep calm. If in need of immediate help when the individual may attempt suicide, take the person to the emergency room. — Clinical psychologist Faith Chong