A painful pandemic

Save the children: Unicef Education Specialist Azlina Kamal posing for photos together with children in Sabah before the movement control order began in Malaysia.

IT HAS been over a year since Malaysia entered the first movement control order and we’re still not out of the woods yet.

However, being in the shadow of uncertainty for so long has taken a toll on the mental health of many, including children.

Desperate to give their children a “normal childhood” despite living in unprecedented times, parents are doing the best they can one year after the Covid-19 pandemic hit.

Mother-of-three Diana Zin said she always encourages her children to remain active, even at home.Among the activities the civil servant has her children doing are dancing, drawing, baking and playing with building blocks.

“Our kids need to know that no matter the unforeseen changes in life, that they can adapt and make the most of it, ” she added.As for Kelvin Chee and Luisa Yeng, they knew they had to do something when their bubbly and easy-going 10-year-old son became down and demotivated especially on days when both parents had to work and could not give their second child their “full attention to create fun experiences together”.

To address the issue, Yeng said the couple would give him surprises like getting ice-cream in the middle of the day, allowing for sleepovers during weekends in their bedroom, having movie nights, working on do-it-yourself (DIY) projects, catching caterpillars to observe the metamorphosis and learning new skills like cycling and skateboarding.

Get outside: Children need an outlet for their excessive energy as a way to cope with the negative effects of the pandemic on their mental health. - File photo

Spending more time with her two girls, no matter how tired she was, helped Carol Joseph deal with the pandemic. She said her daughters faced more stress than most as their grandmother passed away during the pandemic.

“My eldest who was very close to her grandma, also faced pressure in school with regard to academic performance, ” she added.

She said they built a stronger bond through play, exercise and open communication.

Carol also said she realised there were not many platforms for teens to come together and find friends with common interests.

“A place where they are not afraid to be themselves without being judged. A place where they have proper mentors to guide them and discover things that are bigger than themselves”, she said.

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Pharmacist Swanee Teh said her children have been hooked onto electronics and screen time during the pandemic.

This led to conflict when she confronted her 11 and 13-year-old about the long hours they spent on devices.

“It is draining having to find ways to pry your child away from the screen, ” she said, adding that she believes the pandemic has robbed them of social interaction and play time.

She added that not being able to go to school also meant fewer sporting activities and avenues to release pent up energy, thus leading to them feeling down.

At home, she arranged indoor and outdoor activities that were done as a family such as cycling and playing board games, preparing meals together and watching television together.Carol suggests that neighbourhood communities organise activities for children to not only give them an outlet for their excessive energy, but also to let them interact with others their own age.

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The pandemic has not only been hard on children.Parents are also under pressure as they juggle working from home, helping their children with home-based learning and managing the household.

Angeline Rose Erudayaraj and Brian Pereira, who work as an entrepreneur and chief financial officer respectively, said they are experiencing “parenting exhaustion”.

“We don’t have time for ourselves anymore and as soon as evening sets in, all we can think about is hurrying home to tuck the kids to bed so that we can unwind before a new dawn approaches, ” said Angeline Rose.

She also said that she and her husband needed alone time to recuperate and rejuvenate so as not to sabotage their relationship with their three children, aged between 21 months and six years.

Freelance media consultant Sheahnee Iman Lee said parents need to be in a good emotional and psychological space before they can care for their children.

“Having to be our kids’ home tutors, personal chefs and doctors while meeting our own work deadlines from home is bound to stress any parent, ” she said.

She said it is important that time is set aside daily for children to feel like they can approach their parents to speak about anything that is troubling them.“Spousal support is crucial, too. When one parent is in a video conference, the other parent should ideally not be in one, too.

“Easier said than done, I know, but hopefully employers can take this into account when requiring their staff to attend online meetings.”

Having a nine-year-old child with attention deficit issues is an added strain when it comes to online lessons said Lee as she has to keep a constant watch on him during his classes.

“I have my own deadlines to meet too and it can be pretty difficult not to lose my cool, ” she said, adding that companies should be more understanding towards their employees.

“We are struggling, too. Less pressure from employers will definitely go a long way to reducing stress levels at home, ” she added.