Small talk is a bit of a misnomer. While it's defined as polite conversation about unimportant matters, it's an important social lubricant that can bring you big benefits - particularly at the workplace.
"We know that people who make small talk do better in job interviews, salary negotiations and on the job in general," says Hannes Zacher, professor of work and organizational psychology at Leipzig University. And that's not all: "Small talk contributes to a positive atmosphere."
Chatting with co-workers about yourselves and your families strengthens social relations with them, Zacher says, which can be an important source of emotional support if problems arise at your job. So small talk can have a positive effect on your occupational health too.
A 2022 study by the University of Warwick in England found that just four minutes of small talk can suffice to size up a person's personality and help predict their behaviour.
The research team had 338 participants complete a personality and IQ test before they, each paired with a partner, were given two strategic decision-making tasks. Half of the pairs briefly chatted with each other via an instant-messaging software beforehand, the other half had no interaction.
The researchers found that the first group developed a sense of their partner's personality, displayed greater pro-social behaviour and cooperated more than the second.
Although it's not easy for everyone to chit-chat with co-workers, the social skill can be learned. Sociologist Madeleine Lang, a Lübeck-based business leaders coach, hybrid work trainer and team workshop moderator, lays out five steps:
"I advise my clients to practice making small talk little by little," Lang says. You could try to strike up a brief conversation at the supermarket checkout counter, for instance, or chat with a neighbour over the fence. If these trials go well, shy people can gain courage to go further.
In light of research on the matter, Zacher concurs. "Self-efficacy is an important factor in small talk - that is, the belief that you can employ it successfully," he says. "If you have faith in yourself, you'll generally be rewarded."
If you're very unsure of yourself, however, it can be helpful to observe people that you like make small talk. "This way you can pick up things you find doable and are authentic for you," Lang says.
Some moments are obviously more suitable than others for initiating a casual conversation at the workplace. Zacher recommends gauging whether the person is interested in talking before making contact.
"Sometimes you can just tell when the situation is right or not," he says. "If the person is hurrying down the corridor and appears stressed, it's best to put off any small talk so as not to be rebuffed."
Alternatively, you could sound out the person's willingness to talk. A good approach, Zacher says, is asking, for example, "Are you taking a break at the moment?"
It's also important not to put too much pressure on yourself to use every seemingly auspicious situation to make small talk. "Sometimes a friendly greeting at the coffee station is enough," says Lang.
Talking about the weather is often dismissed as trivial. But such is the fodder for small talk: innocuous, rather superficial topics that ideally lead to finding areas of mutual interest.
The current autumn storm, hobbies, recent travels, the food served at the office party - things like these are an uncomplicated starting point and can be prepared in your mind in advance, Zacher says. The main thing is not to abruptly switch topics because you don't know what to say next.
"If you change the subject too quickly, your interlocutor can get the feeling that you haven't really listened," points out Lang, who says it's better in such cases to endure a moment of silence.
Rather sensitive subjects such as politics, religion or very private matters are best avoided in workplace small talk. Gossip isn't a good idea either. "Even if it connects you and your interlocutor at the time, it leaves the other person out," which can adversely affect the team atmosphere, Lang says.
Good small talk depends on your undivided attention and curiosity. Lang advises being fully present, which means not looking at your smartphone or doing something else during the conversation.
To let your interlocutor know that you've been listening closely, she recommends briefly summarizing what they've just said now and again. "And you should naturally ask open-ended questions, which is also a part of active listening. This prompts the person to keep talking and keeps the conversation going."
At some point the time comes to end the conversation. "I just remembered I've got to get to another appointment now," is one way Zacher says you can smoothly conclude your chat.
Lang recommends consciously engaging in small talk before a scheduled meeting. "If you have a fixed appointment, it much easier to pull out of the conversation - the calendar ends it, as it were," Lang says.
Another strategy is to change rooms, for example by saying you're going to get a cup of coffee or tea. – By Nina Heitele/dpa
