Ex-etiquette: Setting boundaries for your partner and their former spouse

When you run into a situation where boundaries must be reinforced, a good rule of thumb is that the person who is related to the "perpetrator" is the one to address the issue. Photo: TNS/Dreamstime

My husband’s ex-wife and I get along well, and as a result, she thinks she can just walk into our home any time she feels like it. My husband does not want to confront her. He’s happy they are no longer arguing. And since I have a good relationship with her and I’m regarded as the peacemaker in this family, he wants me to be the one to talk to her. He says she won’t get mad at me. I don’t think it’s my place. What’s good ex-etiquette?

Dr Blackstone: First, for clarification, I imagine your husband and his co-parent share custody of their kids, they go back and forth between your homes, and you have forged a friendship with his ex. Kudos, based on this difficult dynamic. But with it comes the problem you are experiencing – the other home might become too familiar.