Malaysian widow turns to crochet to cope with grief

Lalita with some of her crochet items which include earrings, crop tops, scarves and beanies. Photos: The Star/Zhafaran Nasib

Widow Lalita Ramasamy almost fell into depression after her mother, Kaliyanee Mayandi, 71, died due to cervical cancer last November. Lalita found it hard to accept her mother's death, which affected her physical and mental health.

To overcome her grief, the Penang-based woman turned to crochet, her long-lost hobby, to help her get back on her feet.

"I took care of my mother throughout her illness. The most challenging part was filling the void after my mother passed away. I didn't know how to cope with the situation. I am thankful my three children encouraged me to focus on crocheting," said Lalita, 52, during a Zoom interview from Tanjung Bungah recently.

Lalita spends between four and six hours a day with her trusty crochet needles and yarn, creating dangling earrings in various designs and colours to trendy crop tops, scarves, bags and beanies for her only daughter, hairstylist Yuveneswary Maheswaran, 27.

Lalita (left) says she derives great satisfaction from seeing people wear her handmade earrings.

Lalita feels much more energised and upbeat since she rekindled her interest in crochet, which she says is her lifesaver.

"Crocheting is therapeutic and relaxing. It helps calm the mind and is an excellent pastime. The most important part of crochet is the focus. Make one mistake and it will affect the entire project.

That motivates me to ensure each project is crocheted with the right calculations. Slowly, it has also helped me heal from grief," said Lalita, whose husband, Maheswaran Marimuthu, an air force corporal, died of liver failure in 2014.

Crochet earrings with an Indian twist.

A 2021 online study, "Happy Hookers: Findings from an international research exploring the effects of crochet on well-being", showed that crocheting offers positive benefits in terms of managing mental health conditions and life events such as grief, chronic illness and pain.

According to the article, "The benefits of knitting and crocheting" on www.henryford.com, the meditative and repetitive action of both knitting and crocheting helps the mind to focus on the activity, which then helps to calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety and stress hormones (cortisol) in the body.

Lalita added: "My biggest satisfaction is in completing a project. It's a self-soothing activity, and that's what I needed after my mother’s passing."

Dancing bells

Crochet is the process of creating textiles using a crochet hook to interlock loops of yarn, thread or strands of materials. It involves a lot of counting to join loops of yarn using different crochet stitches.

The most challenging part of learning how to crochet is deciphering crochet patterns, especially knowing the stitch abbreviations and terms. And that's just the basics. Also included in the crochet patterns are symbols like asterisks, brackets and parentheses, making crochet patterns even harder to comprehend.

A crochet flat circle turned into a dangling earring. Photo: Yuveneswary MaheswaranLalita, a former kindergarten teacher, learnt to crochet from her aunt when she was a teenager. Over the years, she has crocheted dozens of mittens, table runners and cushion covers, mainly as gifts for loved ones.

"Back then, crochet wasn't something I did regularly as I was busy with work and family commitments. My children are adults now and I have lots of free time on my hands, so I spend a fair bit of time crocheting," said Lalita.

Every alternate day, Yuveneswary uploads photos of her mother's intricate crochet earrings on her Instagram.

What started as a platform to post Lalita’s creations slowly led to orders from family members and friends. Today, she sells her handcrafted items across Malaysia, Singapore and Australia.

Like many budding entrepreneurs, Lalita realises that social media is one of the most effective ways to promote her year-old home business.

Yuveneswary is proud to model her mother's handmade crochet earrings and tube top. Photo: Yuveneswary Maheswaran

"Running my small business is a way to keep active. Plus, I can't always rely on my kids for money," said Lalita, who also sells her homemade vegan curry paste and podi, an Indian chutney powder, to earn extra income.

“Anyone can pick up new skills on social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest. I've learned new crochet earring designs from YouTube video tutorials. Thanks to online videos, I have also mastered the art of making earrings. All it takes is patience and determination," explained Lalita, who watches her favourite TV drama series while crocheting.

Lalita buys her materials from online stores and wholesale outlets in Penang because they are more affordable.

She has handcrafted many beautiful dangling earrings from different crochet patterns. They include designs like a crochet flat circle, geometry string art, and Swiss cheese plant leaves in various hues. Her most popular design is the Indian jhumka (bell) earrings.

To make these items, she uses various stitching techniques including single crochet, double crochet, triple crochet and chain. Her choice of materials include wool, cotton wool, silk, nylon and acrylic wool.

Lalita’s crochet jhumka earrings are in popular demand.Lalita focuses on crochet earrings because they are fashionable and trending on social media platforms. On average, it takes her about 30 minutes to complete a pair.

"With the basic crocheting techniques, you can do many patterns. Anything is possible with some creativity. I can complete about 10 pairs of jhumka earrings in a day. Most of my customers request for bright colours like pink, emerald green and navy blue," shared Lalita, whose products are priced from RM12.90.

However, Lalita faced some struggles crocheting jhumka earrings initially. The most challenging part was adjusting the stiffness of her crochet stitches to ensure they formed a circular bell to resemble a jhumka.

"I failed at my first few attempts as I couldn't crochet a perfect circle. The secret is in the material and strength of the stitches," said Lalita, who prefers using cotton acrylic yarn to make the jhumka earrings.

In addition to perfecting her craft, Lalita is also slowly learning how to upload photos and videos on her Instagram. Her sons, engineer Jayamunishwar, 28, and restaurant captain Sathishwaran, 26, teach her about the nuts and bolts of social media and how to promote her products online.

Lalita’s children Jayamunishwar (back, left), Sathishwaran and Yuveneswary (front, right) are supportive of her crochet business.She's grateful her children have been with her every step of her entrepreneurial journey.

"My boys are slowly teaching me about branding, algorithms and logo design. I am learning the ways to promote my products and reach out to new customers with the right hashtags.

"We are designing a logo for my handmade earrings. I am also learning to record and upload videos of Yuveneswary wearing my crochet earrings," she said proudly.

But the journey hasn't been a bed of roses for Lalita.

Recently, there was an incident where a scammer tried to steal her brand name. In addition, she also has to learn to deal with negative comments on social media.

"Some people have said that my products must be inferior since they are cheap. Others have commented that my designs are mediocre. I've never faced such harsh criticisms before, but I have learned to take it in my stride.

"I'm just a crochet enthusiast who wants to run a small home business. I am an honest person who sells affordable products. I feel great satisfaction when people wear my handmade earrings. There's nothing more rewarding than that. Plus, I’m happy crocheting has saved me from falling into depression," she concludes.