Triplets - 3x the work, 3x the fun

If you think having one child is a handful, how about three? While having triplets is seen as a blessing and a gift, most parents would be overwhelmed at having to take care of three babies at the same time.

A lot of times, one parent quits their job to stay home and take care of all three. On one hand this makes more sense than trying to find a babysitter who will take all three. On the other hand, as soon as you have more than one child your monthly expenses could possibly double and you will need two incomes to support the triplets.

Finding out

For Azrul Haji Alwi and his wife Ayu Nordiana Khir, the news that they were expecting triplets was indeed a surprise. They already had two older children and they thought they were just adding one more child to their family.

The owner of myJodoh (www.myjodoh.net), a matchmaking site, said:

“I remember when my wife told me she was pregnant. It was a normal happy feeling since it was to be our third child. We didn't go immediately to see a doctor. The following month, she kept telling me that her belly was growing differently from the previous pregnancies and she felt like she was carrying twins.”

The Penang couple proceeded to see a gynaecologist. During the ultrasound scan, the doctor showed them each of the babies, one by one.

Although caught by surprise, both Azrul and Ayu were extremely happy, but naturally concerned about the health and cost issues.

Executives in private companies Hanani Izzati Mohamad Zubir and Zarul Izwan Zainal were also very happy when they found out they were expecting triplets. With two failed pregnancies prior to that, the couple did not want to get their hopes up too high or get too excited.

Unlike Ayu and Hanani, freelance editor Manjula Aryaduray knew there was a chance she could have multiple babies because she and husband Looi Miin Tze, a lawyer, had gone for IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation) treatment.

“We knew we could possibly have more than one child but the chances were less than 5%,” says Manjula. Hubby Miin Tze explains that, at the most, they thought they might have twins.

When they found out it was triplets, the couple did as much reading as possible on the topic of multiple births. They wanted to be equipped to handle any challenge they might be faced with.

Manjula and Miin Tze learnt that they didn't have to buy three sets of everything for the triplets. Some things could be shared and other items would be bought as and when they needed them.

All three couples learnt the art of managing, adapting and juggling. Somehow they found the energy and the money to have triplets.

Premature

All three mothers had their triplets by caesarean because multiple births are usually premature and are too risky to be delivered naturally.

Hanani's babies – Fahmi, Faris and Fauzi – were 34 weeks. Fahmi and Faris were kept under observation and on the ventilator for only one night after birth, while Fauzi was kept for two nights because of his weight (1.85kg). They spent just two nights in hospital as none of them had breathing problems or any other complications.

Azrul's triplets arrived after just 31 weeks. The triplets spent more than a month at the hospital. One of the babies, Aisyah, needed to be in the incubator for five weeks. She was 1.2kg while the other babies - Khadijah and Safiyah - were 1.7kg.

Manjula's babies were almost 29 weeks. Nikhil, Tisya and Tara had to be on the ventilator as their lungs were not fully matured yet. Tisya and Nikhil were in the ICU (intensive care unit) for about eight weeks while Tara had a few lung infections and spent about four months in the hospital.

Manjula and husband were going back and forth to the hospital. When Nikhil was allowed to go home, they had to take turns between being at the hospital and being at home. It helped that Miin Tze's mother came over to assist.

Eventually, Tisya came home and finally it was Tara's turn. However, Tara had an oxygen tank with her when she first came home because her lungs were not as strong as Tisya's and Nikhil's.

Adapting

Hanani and Zarul admit that help from their parents and family was a great boon.

“My parents came from Kedah to stay with us to help take care of the babies. We wouldn’t have been able to cope without their help as all three babies needed constant attention and all three were colicky. After about three weeks here, we went home to my parents' house to complete my confinement period there. After two months, we came home to KL as I needed to get back to work,” explains Hanani.

They decided that they both needed to keep working to support their daily expenses. In addition, they started an online business for a side income (itsybitsysecrets.blogspot.com).

The couple doesn't have a maid. During the day, the boys are sent to daycare and at night Hanani and Zarul take care of them.

“Whenever my husband has to work overtime or on weekends, we try to get any of our family members (my parents, parents-in-law or my younger sister) to help me with the kids. My parents come all the way from Kedah whenever we need them, especially when the kids are not well or have to be hospitalised. We are thankful for all the assistance given by our family!” she says.

Azrul and Ayu already had two older children so the triplets made it five altogether.

Their two older children are now five and three years old and the triplets turn one soon.

“The first few months were the hardest. The babies needed to be fed every 2-3 hours. We took turns, my wife, my mother and myself. Sometimes my in-laws would take over from my mother,” says Azrul.

Fortunately for the family, Ayu had given up her job when she was pregnant with their first child and Azrul works from home.

“Currently, we have a babysitter to take care of two of the triplets in the daytime on weekdays. One of the triplets will spend the night with the babysitter, one will be taken home after office hours. So, two will stay with us during the night.

“We rotate the babies every day so that they are not too familiar with the babysitter. I feel it is easier to take care of them when they are separated. On weekends, all the children are home and it's up to me and my wife to take care of them,” explains Azrul.

When Manjula and Miin Tze discovered they were expecting triplets, they decided that she would quit her job.

“In the first year we hardly slept. When we look back we're not sure how we survived. I think with a lot of help from my mother-in-law and the maid,” says Manjula.

Although Tara was brought home with an oxygen tank, she is now fine except that she has chronic lung disease. Her lungs were not as strong as Tisya's and Nikhil's and it'll take her some time to recover. Now, whenever the children have the sniffles or the flu, Tara always gets it the worst.