7 gender traps to watch out for when raising kids

No colour-coding your children: Giving your child a say in what they wear as early as possible is a great way to avoid forcing any gender expectations on them. — Photo: PATRICK PLEUL/dpa

How much does a child's sex determine their behaviour from a very young age? It's an issue that continues to divide both parents and researchers.

While behavioural scientists say that hormones do influence children early on, upbringing and gender expectations have also been shown to play a huge role in where children see their strengths and weaknesses, preferences and dislikes.

Many of the differences between women and men can be traced back to the first years of life, which shape how children identify with their gender and which patterns they adopt.

As such, the notion of girls being calm and creative types, while boys are always loud and romping around the home, can only be put down to hormones to a certain degree.

For parents who want to avoid reinforcing stereotypical gender roles and expectations, here are seven things to keep in mind.

1. Pink is for girls, and blue is for boys? This notion continues to hold society firmly in its grip. Letting your child choose their own clothing is one way to circumvent it, as boys can also like unicorns, and girls may also want to wear a dinosaur sweater to school.

Giving your child a say in what they wear as early as possible is a great way to avoid forcing any gender expectations on them. Your daughter doesn't like skirts, and your son wants to dress up like a princess? That's absolutely fine.

2. Many people still buy gender-typed toys for their children, with girls predominantly given dolls and cuddly toys, while racing cars and diggers are given to boys.

Try offering your child a range of toys to choose from instead, and you might find that your daughter has much more fun wielding toy power tools instead of baking imaginary pies in her toy kitchen - and doing the dishes afterwards.

3. Parents should also try to support their kids in areas that they're not as confident in, or where society leads them to believe they have less natural talent.

Girls are often expected to be less athletic than boys, so take your daughter to the pitch on the weekend. Boys, on the other hand, often benefit from more time spent doing arts and crafts.

4. Many children's books and films, especially older ones, reinforce traditional family models and gender roles. However, there's now a growing selection of new works to choose from that are focussing on depicting a more diverse, progressive and equal world.

When buying the next birthday present, why not choose a picture book that tells the story of a same-sex couple, for example?

5. One thing that parents can do when trying to avoid reinforcing stereotypical gender roles is take stock of their own behaviour.

If it's always mum doing the cooking, while dad is the one to typically fix things around the house, chances are your children will adopt these roles in the future.

Breaking up this behaviour should also include who plays with the kids and what. Fathers are perfectly capable of making a bracelet with their sons, while mother and daughter romp around outside in a game of cops and robbers.

6. Many parents, often without realizing it, bring up their kids the way they were raised themselves. Making sure not to project your own insecurities and expectations onto your child is a big part of raising them without reinforcing gender stereotypes.

If you notice that your child displays behaviour that you'd intuitively consider unusual because of their gender, like a daughter who's courageous and assertive, try to support this instead of reprimanding them.

7. "You look great" - that's not something only girls should get to hear. Boys also like to be praised for their looks, especially if they've chosen the outfit themselves. Make sure to give your children the same compliments, regardless of their gender.