Singaporean actress Rebecca Lim never had the desire to become a mother. Not once in her past relationships did she entertain thoughts of starting a family with her partners.
But the 38-year-old star began thinking she could be a parent after marrying Matthew Webster. She married Webster, a Singaporean of British-Chinese descent, in 2022. The couple now have a 1½-year-old son.
Lim opened up about her life struggles in a candid interview on the podcast Who We Are With Rachel Lim. The hour-long episode with the co-founder of local fashion brand Love, Bonito was streamed on YouTube and Spotify on Aug 12.
“(Matthew) gave me the peace and security I never had, and it made me think maybe I can have a family with this man,” Lim said.
The actress also discussed her ongoing issues with mum guilt when she returned to the entertainment industry to film a long-form English drama in July 2024. Her son was then about seven months old.
Filming went on for nine months, and Lim found herself crying and struggling with inadequacy in the initial weeks.
Besides not being able to memorise her lines because of “brain fog”, she felt stressed because “physically, you don’t look 100%”.
“Then while I’m at work, I don’t feel 100% a mother because I’m leaving my son at home,” she said, adding that she was “not here, not there”.
“I felt terrible, guilty and inadequate as an actor and as a mother then. It took me a few months to slowly get back into the swing of things. I think what motherhood has taught me is to be 100% present.”
Lim, who recently hosted the variety show With Love, Becks (2024), also addressed the image pressures she faced post-partum, especially when she made her first public appearance at Star Awards 2024.
“It was two months after giving birth, and you face your female colleagues who all looked gorgeous,” she recalled. “Why do I still look like that? Why can’t I find a dress to fit into? I underestimated the stress of having to turn up looking good for the event.”
Lim admitted that, in hindsight, she should not have emphasised how she looked and stressed herself out.
She has now found a “new equilibrium” as a mum, and also learnt to embrace ageing gracefully. She said: “That sense of insecurity will never go away because you’re constantly exposed. But what’s important is how you snap out of it.” – The Straits Times/Asia News Network
