HOW TO CON YOUR KID
Simple Scams for Mealtime, Bedtime, Bathtime – Anytime!
By David Borgenicht and James Grace
Publisher: Quirk Books

It wasn’t easy reading this book. Thanks to its title, I had to spend a good half an hour fighting off my kids. Obviously, they didn’t appreciate the fact that the book had the phrase “con your kid” on its cover. I had to convince them that I wasn’t reading this book to stock up on a parenting arsenal against them but merely to write a review about it.

In all fairness, this book wasn’t written for parents whose children can already read. In the introduction, the author implies that this book is suitable for parents of children between the ages of two and seven, for whom “every day is a struggle between wanting to be more in control of their own lives and wanting to still be your little baby.”

When you have a toddler, something as basic as leaving the house can escalate into a major battle. Things don’t have to be that way. The authors of this book have come up with a variety of ways to con your “inveterate nudist” of a toddler to keep his clothes on or to encourage that child who goes all “boneless and floppy” to get moving.

The premise is nothing revolutionary. If you incorporate fun and imagination, not forgetting a healthy dose of patience, into your everyday interactions with your children, life can be simpler.

Resembling a novelty book in appearance, this book is essentially a quick reference parenting guide with tips and ideas on how to encourage your child to get on with their daily routines or a particular task like how to “Get Your Kid to Let You Brush Her Hair” to how to “Get Your Kid to Help with Chores” with the least amount of resistance.

In the five sections under the headings of Grooming Cons; Getting Ready Cons; Behavioural Cons; Household Cons; and Mealtime and Bedtime Cons, the authors have identified 35 potentially challenging situations. They have then devoted a chapter to each of those situations (e.g. getting a haircut or sitting still) and suggest a variety of strategies or “cons” to make your kids behave the way you want them to.

I was particularly interested in the “Get (ting) Your Kid to Eat” chapter. Just as with every single situation, the authors suggest that you start by laying down the groundwork. Here are two of their recommendations that I find particularly interesting:

- Take your child to the houseware store and let her pick out a special placemat, bowl, dish, fork, spoon and cup. She’ll be more likely to use the items she’s chosen herself.

- Let your child taste things as you make them, telling her that you need her taste buds to make sure dinner tastes good.

If those recommendations and the many others listed don’t work, resort to the “Basic Cons.” One suggestion is to rename the food with creative names such as “orange suns” for carrots and “white mud” for mashed potatoes. Another strategy is using “puppet pressure,” meaning speaking through a puppet whilst feeding your child. Children, purportedly, often comply with a puppet’s wishes. (In all my years of parenting, I’ve not come across this “theory” before.)

If, however, you are strapped for time or need a quick solution, you could just employ one of the “Short Cons.” This basically means posing simple questions with limited choices to your child to “make your child feel as though he or she is in control, when in reality you’re the one pulling the strings.”

Examples of such questions are “Should we read or just tell stories or talk while we eat?” and “Which of the stuffed animals should we invite to lunch today?”

With each chapter or “con,” the authors have done their best to include a song to sing with your little one, to the tune of well-known children’s songs and games that you can play with them. However, if everything fails and if they're on to you, don’t despair. The authors still have some nuggets of wisdom left to offer. The advice given to parents with children who are reluctant to eat is, “Just relax. Don’t turn meals into a battle - the kid won’t starve.”

Included in this book are three sticker reward charts. There are charts for Getting Ready for Bed, Magic Words and Chores. The colourful stickers that go with the charts are provided, too. In addition, there is also a cute “Certificate of Heroism” that you can give to your child when he or she does “something really good.”

As you can see, the “cons” recommended in this book require you to practise positive parenting. Don’t expect lengthy explanations or claims that any of the suggestions are based on scientific research. This isn’t your typical thick tome of a parenting bible. Written in concise and witty style, this book really is an enjoyable read. It has an easy-to-navigate layout, which makes it ideal for harried parents of busy toddlers.

The authors of this book are David Borgenicht and James Grace. They are both fathers themselves and claim that all “cons” in this book have been tried and tested on their children, children of friends as well as surveys with experts on children.

Borgenicht is the co-author of the Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series with topics ranging from life and parenting to the paranormal. Hence, the quirky look and feel of this book.

I do like this book. In fact, it would make the perfect gift for family and friends with wilful toddlers. I am actually excited that the authors are in the process of compiling parenting strategies or techniques for two more books specifically for tweens and teens.

I will buy them, wrap those books in wrapping paper to ensure hassle free reading and hide them well away from prying eyes when I am done with them.